An All New Low

M&M95

New Member
#1
I've thought about suicide a lot in my life. I've never actually searched for ways or tried anything. Tonight, that all changed. I recently broke up with someone. It felt like it was for the best. However, no one else on that side thought so. I keep getting messages about how awful I am and how badly I've hurt that person. I already hated myself for it because I knew that person loved me, but I didn't share that same feeling. Tonight, someone said they didn't understand how it was so easy for me to hurt people. And I realized how much I hated myself. I laid on my floor for at least an hour crying my eyes out. I've never felt so hated in my life. But, I guess it isn't my time because I came across a site that lead me here. Maybe I just need someone to talk to about it all. I just want to know if the pain ever stops. The pain from hurting someone else so badly. The way I hate myself right now, it's honestly unbelievable. I didn't know how toxic and awful I thought I was until tonight. Please help.
 
#2
Sorry to hear that you are going through this

You don't have an obligation to be in a relationship that you don't want to be in. You didn't do anything wrong by deciding to leave.

Maybe if you went to couples counseling with this person, you'd be able to end the relationship on better terms.

It just sounds like your ex has a lot of friends with a vigilante justice attitude and a lack of respect for staying out of things that are not their business.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#3
That person can now move on so although they said you harmed him you are now giving him the freedom to find someone that does love him and he deserves that kind of love. You are doing what is best for both of you i know it does not feel that way now but it will be ok
 
#4
Another option might be to write your ex a long letter. Maybe you could even follow it up with meeting in person.

It's possible to end a relationship but still be on good terms with someone
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#5
welcome to SF we are a community of people that care for each other we have almost all been close to suicide that's how we ended up here. it's best that you ended it rather than stringing that person along. don't feel guilty but that persons friends are seeing one side and blaming you and calling you names , which isn't fair. if you're still talking tell that person you still like and care but don't love them can you be friends. and the pain will go away it just takes time.
 

Human Ex Machinae

Void Where Prohibited
#7
Hello, @M&M95. I agree with everything that's been said already. I'd only add that in your position, I'd block these people so they wouldn't be able to send me those negative messages anymore. Nobody is obligated to keep channels open with people who want to reach out and hurt them.
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#8
Hi @M&M95

As everyone here has already said, you've done the right thing by ending that relationship. What's the point in being in a relationship where there isn't the same level of love coming from both sides. Sooner or later it'll just wear both of you down.
There might be pain for the now, but at least it means neither of you are tied down and so are both able to move on into a new chapter within your lives, instead of wasting time being caught up in a relationship that just didn't seem to be. You did the right thing, in fact you did the brave thing by being open and honest about this. The only regret is that some people decided to shove their arses into your situation and decided to give their opinions solely based from your ex's point of view instead of trying to see the bigger picture which is naturally wrong for them to do.

I hope that things are a bit better for you now, and are feeling a bit more settled within your mind.

Welcome to SF, and keep on posting.
 

Innocent Forever

πŸ’πŸ₯œπŸŒ
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#9
Welcome @M&M95
Does the pain stop? I think it does. Time takes time though. So does it stop immediately? No.
Breaking up with someone who you don't love who loves you hurts them. But hurts them less and is way better than stringing them along even though you don't care about them. Hope you're feeling a little better now. Though give yourself time. And try keep away from people who talk against you. Regardless of what you've done, you never deserve to hear people putting you down or talking hatefully.
You're worth it.
 

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