I've thought about suicide a lot in my life. I've never actually searched for ways or tried anything. Tonight, that all changed. I recently broke up with someone. It felt like it was for the best. However, no one else on that side thought so. I keep getting messages about how awful I am and how badly I've hurt that person. I already hated myself for it because I knew that person loved me, but I didn't share that same feeling. Tonight, someone said they didn't understand how it was so easy for me to hurt people. And I realized how much I hated myself. I laid on my floor for at least an hour crying my eyes out. I've never felt so hated in my life. But, I guess it isn't my time because I came across a site that lead me here. Maybe I just need someone to talk to about it all. I just want to know if the pain ever stops. The pain from hurting someone else so badly. The way I hate myself right now, it's honestly unbelievable. I didn't know how toxic and awful I thought I was until tonight. Please help.