An alter is cutting

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by SheWhoMustNotBeNamed, Jan 10, 2012.

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  1. Hi. I am probably different from a lot of people that post messages here. Please don't make fun of me.

    I am called an alter. I am part of a person who has something called D.I.D. The whole person is called a core. She was the person born to the body, but during her childhood bad things happened to her and a part of her personality formed a new person called an alter or part. The first alter was born when the core was 18 months old. There are many more of us in the body. I am the most stable one in the body right now, but that really isn't saying much because I am not as adjusted to the outer world as the core or the main protector of our core.

    Recently, something triggered the core into retreating into a very dark place and we can't feel her anymore. The main Protector and another protector went into the very dark bad place trying to find our core but they have not returned. Now everyone is running around scared and hiding. One of the parts is cutting the body, I think because he is scared, but another part is trying to take control of the body as a way to protect it, I think. She is very possessive of the body and it's hard to get in to the body to go to work.

    I know of one, maybe two, reasons for the trigger of the core. The first is her new puppy favors her roommate, who she, the Protector and, I must admit, I am in love with. The puppy was to help make or keep the core happy but when the puppy basically rejected us for the roommate, the core accidently slipped away. (I don't think she does it on purpose. I don't think she is aware of it when she does it.)

    The second reason is that since she is in love with her roommate and doesn't have a car or money to move. I don't think the core knows this, but the roommate is dating someone else and sleeps over there all the time. It's very hurtful to me and I suspect if/when the core is able to return, she will be heart broken and want to attempt a permanent sleep state. She has done it before and, if her girlfriend at that time hadn't come home, she would have succeeded. This time, her roommate is not there very much and I think she will do it.

    I don't know if I want to stop her. In fact, I have to say, I hope she does because we are all miserable and most of us just wants to quit.

    I don't know why I just wrote that. I didn't realize I felt that way, but I guess I do.

    The real reason I came here was because I feel like I should do something about the alter that is cutting the body, but now I think, I want him to. I want him to not just cut. I want him to do it all the way, but he doesn't talk or understand anyone. He just hisses and growls at everyone, but I relly wish he could understand me so that I could tell him to please do it all the way.
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I hope your alter stopped cutting.
    Unrequited love is an awful thing, but please let the core know this forum is here for them, and we will support her as best we can.

    The puppy - they are lovely but simple things, they do not understand D.I.D., but perhaps it senses that sometimes your body acts differently and so the puppy stays with someone it understands more. This is not your fault, and is the pup matures it should realise that whomever has your body poses no risk to it.

    Please do not quit, you, your fellow alters and your core should post more, others here have the same condition here and you will be accepted for who you are.
  3. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    When you said the core wanted to go into a permanent sleep, did you mean she wanted to committ suicide? I think if you're core gets help and starts to feel better, then so will you and the other alters.

    puppies always tend to pick favorites, but they always love all of their owners. The Puppy will come around to the core, it'll just take some time.

    Feel free to message me anytime if you have any questions. I'd love to help in any way I can :)
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry that the alter feels the need to cut. If you can help the core feel better, maybe the alter will stop cutting. We are here to support all of you and want you to feel better.
  5. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    We won't make fun of you. I'm sorry to hear that alter feels the need to cut, and if you can help the core feel better than maybe it's possible for alter not to feel the need to cut. Or maybe it will stop alter from cutting all together. Everyone here is here to give you some emotional support, and I hope that all of you will feel better. :hug:

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