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an amazing array of new symptoms, hooray.

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#1
I thought I knew what depression felt like, but apparently, there are "neat" new tricks around every corner.

Recently, I've been reclusive--feeling lonely, but wanting to be alone, not wanting to see anyone. This is curious, because usually, I'm very verbal about how I'm feeling. I have aboslutely no motivation. I feel like I am a terrible person who has driven all her friends away because she talks too much about emotions (I was called "hard to deal with" for being high strung), and I feel like even if I COULD talk to my friends, they wouldn't understand me...they never really have. Oh, and the holidays are coming...I hate the holidays.

I sleep ALL the time and I cannot find a point in ANYTHING. Sounds pretty routine, huh? Well, to be honest, depression for me was always a sad affair...something of deep despair. This time, I'm void of most emotion and can't see a reason in anything. It's a very strange feeling floating around in oblivion--like there's no difference between existing and non existance.

Sorry for the absurdly boring entry, but I've come to realize that depression wears many masks--has many faces. But just like every other time I've been depressed, I just want to get better soon.
 

TLA

Antiquitie's Friend
#2
I thought I knew what depression felt like, but apparently, there are "neat" new tricks around every corner.

Recently, I've been reclusive--feeling lonely, but wanting to be alone, not wanting to see anyone. This is curious, because usually, I'm very verbal about how I'm feeling. I have aboslutely no motivation. I feel like I am a terrible person who has driven all her friends away because she talks too much about emotions (I was called "hard to deal with" for being high strung), and I feel like even if I COULD talk to my friends, they wouldn't understand me...they never really have. Oh, and the holidays are coming...I hate the holidays.

I sleep ALL the time and I cannot find a point in ANYTHING. Sounds pretty routine, huh? Well, to be honest, depression for me was always a sad affair...something of deep despair. This time, I'm void of most emotion and can't see a reason in anything. It's a very strange feeling floating around in oblivion--like there's no difference between existing and non existance.

Sorry for the absurdly boring entry, but I've come to realize that depression wears many masks--has many faces. But just like every other time I've been depressed, I just want to get better soon.


Always Alone--I don't want you to feel alone. I am in Texas. Your post is not boring. People need to feel "aahhh yea, i have that too!!"
I also am surprised, even after knowing the evil side of bipolar, that a new symptom appears for me and I end up going--oh ****. Depression is diverse and a mask of sorts.

Isolation, no motivation, not talking much anymore-shutting down, sleeping too much....I am in that now. So don't beat yourself up too hard. I do bounce back for some 2 weeks. too much happened to me, too fast. I see my doc in about 2 weeks.
The other thing I do that is cool (to me) when I want to rate myself (when I can take it) is to look at internet ads, T.V. commercials, articles, brouchures to see how many signs of depression I show now? or later when I get stable, how many did I used to have? wow, thats a change now!

When you notice "this is not usually how I am"...I think since depression messes with your brain chemicals and blood too, that we start acting/feeling different too.
I just want to say I hear ya, feel same too!! PM me if you need.

TLA
 
#3
thanks TLA :) i'm here for pm too if you need me! its comforting to know that others feel the same...not that i wish we didn't...just that we're not aliens from outerspace trying to fit into a foriegn culture--there are people here just like us, that can relate to us, and can tell us that everything is going to be ok.

hang in there!! and thanks again
 
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