An attempt to console people

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by haveaniceday, Aug 7, 2010.

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  1. haveaniceday

    haveaniceday Member

    Hi. I have never had any suicidal feelings myself, i have come to the forum because my friend mentioned it and i am a little concerned that he may be at risk of suicide.

    Having read the forum pretty extensively today i wanted to say that i feel a lot of sympathy for all of you who are suffering, it sounds like a truely horrible experience for you all.

    It is a wonderful community here, everyone is very friendly and supportive of each other. I hope though that anyone who is depressed or considering suicide does not rely solely on the forum for support. The reason i say this is because i get a feeling that everyone here has a lot of depression and loss, I worry that it could be a little bit self feeding. A depressing forum is not such a good place to come if you are feeling depressed.

    I feel very sad and shocked that someone would consider suicide as an option, yet on the forum everyone expresses almost a resignation to the idea. I guess it is because they themselves have considered it. Dont feel afraid to talk to another person outside of the forum. I know it is hard to find someone who is a competent listener, maybe a friend or superior at work. Anyone who is emotionally mature themselves would make a good candidate. Defiantely dont talk to someone who is not strong enough in themselves, some people are weak and confused followers and shouldnt be relied on for advice or emotional support. You would be suprised at the support you will get from others. They often wont volunteer it until you make the approach though. People cant help feel they are being disrespectful if they ask someone if they were feeling suicidal. It is up to you to make that first approach and ask to talk to them. That is all you have to do, just ask to talk to them, tell them you need someone to talk to, tell them you are having a hard time lately and tell them your troubles. Everyone suffers many of the same problems, you are not alone in this.

    I personally think that western culture has a lot to answer for, it is often the reason that so many people suffer mentally. Our society is so full of empty nonsense and we are too individualistic. Everyone is trying desperately to seek acceptance from others, and we actually need this acceptance to feel emotionally happy. It is a very hungry beast to feed when you live in our consumerist society. We are flooded with advertising of the labels, fashion, image etc that you apparently 'must have' to be accepted. Even if you yourself dont pay heed to the advertising, many others do.

    I think people need to get a sense of well being, importance and satisfaction from a range of sources. There are many of them out there but dont only rely on only one. For instance many people rely only on their partner for thier emotional happiness, this is doomed to disaster the moment that you break up. It will cause you a lot of anguish. I dont believe in soul mates and it troubles me that a lot of people on the forum seem to. Love is a very strong emotion, it is one that we can get addicted to and it is easy to ascribe all sorts of higher reasons to it. It is only an emotion though, it makes you feel good and when it is no longer there your body still craves it and thinks that it cant do without it. You can.
    There are so many good emotions out there that will counter some of the bad emotions like loss, anxiety, low self esteem etc.Whatever you do dont try to replace the bad emotions with the sort of temporary good emotions that can come from drugs, alcohol or gambling. These only give you a very breif respite from the bad emotions and they will come back with a vengence when the high wears off.
    Good emotions can come from simple sources like being in the beautiful nature. Just go to the local botanical gardens or go to the zoo and see the wonderful animals there. Better yet go to a national park and be surrounded by the wildnerness (go with someone else though, otherwise you could feel lonely). Cities are insane places and humans are not meant to live in these sort of surroundings. I know people in the country also have a lot of depression problems and think perhaps this is often from loneliness. People need the company of others to be emotionally happy.
    Everyone knows that you also get a great emotional surge from simply doing excercise once a day. I personally go to the gym each day just because it makes me feel great.
    Doing creative work like music painting or other art also gives a great positive emotional boost. It is short term though and wears off when you are not doing it. I have a theory that this is why so many emotionally disturbed people are such great artists, it gives them a relief from their anguish while they do it.
    You need friends to feel good too, good friends who make you feel good to be around.
    Always keep learning things, learning about something you enjoy is a great way to make you feel good.
    Acheiving things also gives you a great emotional satisfaction that can NEVER be taken away. There are millions of things that you can do, study something, travel somewhere, build something, go skydiving, learn to juggle, learn an instrument, anything that is a bit of a challenge that you overcome.

    Another thing that everyone on this forum should do is to help other people. It makes you feel so good to help other people. There are so many people who need it too. Not just in your own country but all over the world. There is such misery in third world countries. I was in Madagascar a few months ago, that is a forgotten country, the people came from indonesia 2000 years ago and they have a strong social hirachy where the nobles at the top dont give a shit about the rest. There is so much suffering there but the people are so accepting of it. So many yound kids are all twisted up with polio. Go to India, see how much suffering there is there, i think it is even much much worse than in madagascar. But they are happy in other ways, they have such a social society. They have such a strong spirituality. Before any of you commit suicide i urge you to go to India, it will change your whole concept of life and your own place in it. It will make you understand the empty materialistic nonsense that pervades western society. Dont worry about money either, you can live very well on only $20 US a day. They also have lots of Ashrams there to help people spiritually, you have to pay $2US a day to pay for your food and accommodation. Stay with Mata Amritanandamayi (known to her devotees as Amma), she is an indian women who travels the world hugging people. SHe often hugs 5000 people in one day. I have met some people who have been hugged by her and they said it was a life changing experience. Go to India, there is nothing stopping you but your own self indulgent melancholy (sorry to be harsh, i know it is cruel but i am trying to motivate you to change your life and start enjoying it and seeing the wonderous and fantastic place the world is once you get away from our empty western culture)

    You also have to understand that your thoughts are not you. You do not have active control over your thoughts, your thoughts are just thrown at you from your brain. It is like you are sitting in the command center and your brain just throws suggestions at you. That is all they are, suggestions, you dont have to act on them. It is like if you have a problem then your brain will just try to come up with ideas. it will just throw thoughts at you, it doesnt consider these thoughts itself. If you have a problem then perhaps your brain comes up with suicide, it is only a thought, it is not you. The moment you acknowledge it and recognise it as just another thought, a suggestion, then it will just vanish.

    i am not trained to give support or counselling so i hope that i dont cause more damage when i am trying to help. i just hope i can give some more help than just the platitudes and reassurances that everyone else gives. It is a good thing to give people a place to tell how they feel and to empathise with them. They need this, everyone needs it! But you have to give each other more of a sense of the wonderful place the world is. It is not solely a place of suffering. There is a lot of suffering, yes, but there are also great things to see, wonderful amazing places to go, incredible things to learn and do. Life is short enough as it is without deliberately ending it prematurely. Another thing i would urge you all to do is to become vegetarian, we are not alone in the world with our cities and our cars and plasma tvs. There are other animals here too, many of which share very similar emotions and conciousness as us (albiet with somewhat less problem solving ability). I think people would be much happier if we realised that life is not limited to human interactions. There is a whole lot more going on in life than just humans.
     
  2. ThinkingCap

    ThinkingCap Well-Known Member

    Hmmm I completely understand that you are just trying to be helpful, and your post had a lot of good points (it's good being with other people, it's good to talk to people outside of this forum) but I'm also quite confused by a lot of what you wrote. Kind of upset, but I'm not about to tear you apart with all of your good intentions, so I'll hold back.

    Listen, you've never had suicidal thoughts-- clearly. I would almost be certain that you haven't been depressed either, almost. I can't make that statement completely seeing as I don't know you, but it comes across in your post. To say that you were "shocked" at hearing that someone would consider suicide as an option encapsulates why I, at least, was incredibly scared to tell anyone. Just reminds me of when I told one of my friends that I was cutting and he told me to 'cut that shit out', which is kind of a funny way of putting it, actually.

    But it's just so difficult to connect with people like you. You blame society, you blame advertising, you tell us what we should do. I'm a bit offended that you, a person who has never been where most of us are and who (as far as I know) hasn't done any research or had a conversation with someone they knew was suicidal, would tell me what I should do. Seeing all of these things that I should do just reminds me of the days when I couldn't do them, when the thought of them was so exhausting, I couldn't get out of bed. I wonder if you know that most suicides occur during the summer, not the winter, and one of the theories is that the vision of all of the happiness, all of the people outside, enjoying themselves, just reminds people of what they aren't doing. Alienates the way that they feel because it isn't reflected in the environment. My goodness, if the answers were as easy as you make them, I doubt anyone would be depressed, let alone suicidal.

    I keep on getting the impression that there's nothing I could say to make you realize just how naive your post really is, that you live in a completely different world than me. It's difficult not to antagonize you. Capitalism does not do this to people, advertising doesn't ostracize people in middle school because they don't 'wear the right thing' or 'look the right way', their peers do. Feeling bad about being overweight doesn't come from looking at a Levi's ad, it comes from all of the memories that come back to life of what people have done. That's where the pain comes from. Have you ever been abused? Do you know what that's like to feel as if someone is always behind your shoulder, waiting to humiliate you? When I look in the mirror, it's not advertising I feel breathing down by neck, it's not society, it's not some nameless entity, it's my mother that makes me feel like I'm staring at nothing. That I'm looking at someone who is less than nothing, like someone who doesn't deserve to exist. That's where the damage comes from, for me. For someone else it may be their peers, it may be their father, or sibling, or boss. But it comes from a source-- not something nameless, those nameless things just serve as reminders that push the nail home.

    Let me get to the meat of why I bothered replying, because if it weren't for this, I wouldn't have cared enough to type this out:

    Have you ever heard "The Horse You Rode In On" by Pigface? Well that's what I have running through my head right now, though this board isn't really a place for vulgarity. This right here blows the rest of what you wrote right out of the water. Telling me my thoughts aren't mine, my thoughts don't belong to me. How dare you. That is such a write-off, everything that is in my head, good and bad, is mine, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Your thoughts come from your past experiences and decisions, the bits that make you, you. Ever heard the idea that actions speak louder than words? Well those actions came from somewhere, and that somewhere was my brain. We can't selectively own our good thoughts and discard the bad ones, that's completely irresponsible! Everything that you wrote undermines my suicidal thoughts, tells me that they are nothing when they feel so goddamn real. It pulls the rug of legitimacy out from beneath my sanity.

    Do you know how life shattering it was when my mind settled on suicide? That wasn't me! Everyone knew that I was the person with all of the dreams, and the motivation to do them-- and my head was pounding suicide into itself? That destroyed the foundation to my life, made me feel like I had never known myself if this was a part of it. I didn't want it, I didn't think it was cool or some shit like that, it was the only answer to my dilemma. If you knew my story, you would have said the same thing. The unspeakable had to be spoken, and what's funny is that even once it was, even once I had attempted, it didn't change a single thing. My parents continued to abuse me while pretending nothing was wrong and now I have to live with their phone calls, their gifts, their cards. The only reason I'm still alive now was because my first attempt was such a miserable failure and I got out of the house for the summer and then I'll be on to college, away from them.

    I'm sorry, I have such animosity for people like you, it's nothing personal. People who believe that they can advise me on my life, act like some kind of prophet, when they know nothing themselves. Experience some more of life, and next time, please, think a bit more before you speak. Some thought goes a long way.

    --ThinkingCap
     
  3. haveaniceday

    haveaniceday Member

    Ok, obviously i am completely wrong and now i am trying to work out how to delete my thread, does anyone know if this is possible?? You are correct, I dont know anything about depression or suicide. What i do know a lot about is about emotions, not from reading any books but from patient observation over many years. You will despise me for this but i actually make money from understanding human emotions with the stock market. I thought that perhaps some of this understanding could be put to good use trying to explain to other people what my theory of the human condition is but obviously this is not the place for it. Sorry if it sounds like it is preaching, it was the easiest way to write and i know it is all mostly common sense which everyone know and if it could help then i am sure it would have helped everyone long ago.
    Sorry for upsetting and offending you and anyone else who reads this. I will endevour to get it removed.
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think that what you have to do is remember that everyone is different and has different problems, and 'reasons' and circumstances, etc. If you want to help, try reading threads and responding directly to what has been said in the thread.

    I wasn't offended by your post or anything and I can clearly see you've written it trying to help, albeit a bit misguidedely. I do feel a bit like a 'study subject' or something from the way you talk about 'patient observation'. I feel like we are under a microscope and you are analysing our actions and then trying to almost write a research paper on us. I know that's not what you're saying, but that is how it comes across to me.

    It can be very hard when you have not been suicidal to have any comprehension (equally, it can be hard if you have been suicidal to have comprehension) for what others are going through, however, there are others on here who have not been suicidal and are here for different reasons. Some of them are incredibly supportive, and others are lacking in basic understanding, similar to yourself. Its to do with personality, but if you want to learn and stick around and try to help, then it may hlep you lose the clinical and analytical tone. If you are personal and take each person as an individual, who needs compassion, and has individual circumstances, you might do a bit better :)

    I do hear, as I said, that you wrote this with good intentions, so thank you for trying.
     
  5. quicksilver

    quicksilver Member

    Very true... but venting is nessessary and it helps to talk to others who feel similarly. Because loneliness is a big part of it.

    Also true, I learned this the hard way.

    This, I don't agree with. Everyone needs love, especially growing up. If you don't have love, you need to find some fulfillment from an achievement or something.

    Its catheteric.

    Depression is often the result of a chemical imbalance, and its more common than you may think.

    This was helpful, from a person who considers suicide daily and would give anything to change those thought processes.

    That's the problem, and that's why some people don't wanna deal with it. (ever heard this? "i'm not your therapist")




    Also, I agree with everything poster #2
    said.
     
  6. haveaniceday

    haveaniceday Member

    Thanks quicksilver and scum for making me feel a little better. I grant to you that i dont completely understand how people feel when they are depressed or suicidal. would you like to enlighten me? Sorry that i come across as putting 'you' under the microscope, i would prefer to say that i put 'us' under the microscope as mainly i look at understanding myself and by inference to understanding other people.
    I really feel for you thinking cap and i hope that you can overcome your negative feelings towards yourself. My advice has run its course, i hope instead to hear more about what you think is the best way to regaining your own happiness. From the way you write it sounds as though you dont think that anything will help you recover from your bad memories. Do you really think that suicide is the option left? Do you think that having others give you a positive self image can counter-act the negative self image that was left from your parents abuse? Do you think it will be ever possible to forgive them?
    As as for feeling shocked that you would consider self harm. I am not shocked in the sense that you took it. I just wanted to make the point I dont think of suicide as a good alternative, i think it would be a tragic thing for any of you to take your own life. I am not saying that anyone is somehow different for considering it. Come on, i have plenty of life experience despite what you think, it seems to me that about 50% of people i know have at one time considered suicide (I worked in the mines for a while, it is a common conversation topic and we are always on the alert for signs of it). So shocked yes, suprised no. You make it sound like you are all part of some great hidden secret. Suicidal thoughts and depression are quite prevalent in my opinion. I do what i can to support people who would honour me by trusting me enough to confide in me. And anyone else who doesnt trust me enough too.
     
  7. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    I really appreciated your post and the sentiment that went into it but I think ThinkingCap kinda summed it up.

    I'd love to do all the things you mentioned but really they're no fun on your own, and I don't have anyone to go with me.. Likewise I don't have anyone to talk to about it.. Opening up to a stranger would probably either get you rejection or pity and I don't want either..

    :hug:
     
  8. haveaniceday

    haveaniceday Member

    Come on Varek. I have to disagree with you. You underestimate the importance that people feel for supporting anyone who is feeling suicidal. There are plenty of ignorant sheep around who cant understand suicide and depression but the majority are very emotionally supportive. Like i said before, suicide is not a big secret, it affects everyones lives. Many people have been touched by it and they want to prevent anyone they know from killing themselves. A suicide is the saddest thing and everyone blames themselves for not showing more support and recognising the signs of it earlier.

    The feeling i get on the forum is an 'us' and 'them' mentality. Why is this? In real life it is not like that at all. I think suicide and depression is a spectrum, EVERYONE is affected to a certain degree. EVERYONE can understand what it is like to be depressed, EVERYONE could potentially understand how if that continued long enough that thoughts could turn to suicide. It is not black and white.

    The main thing is not to talk to someone who is wrapped up just thinking about themselves. They wont help you, you should speak to someone who has a bit more of an awareness of others and is confident in themselves. Talk to a priest if you cant think of anyone else. That is what they do. They love to support and help people.
     
  9. fooror

    fooror Well-Known Member

    Bit preachy all that???
     
  10. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    But everyone is wrapped up thinking about themselves. It's rare to find someone that truly cares about you, they just pity you. They want to help you because their moral code decrees that they should and that doesn't really help me.. I don't want someone to help me because 'it's the right thing to do', I want them to genuinely care if I live or die.

    Maybe that's just the misanthrope talking?
     
  11. haveaniceday

    haveaniceday Member

    Hey Fooror
    What can i say, i am a very opinionated person. Hopefully this thread will be gone soon so you wont have anyone preaching to you anymore! I should not have written it in hindsight.
     
  12. haveaniceday

    haveaniceday Member

    Ok, i am possibly the biggest misanthrope ever (you probably gathered that from my posts) but even i genuinely care about others. It is simply because people cant help empathising with other people. They put themselves into the other persons shoes and they can understand them. It is genuine concern, you only have to look on the forum here to see it.
     
  13. ThinkingCap

    ThinkingCap Well-Known Member

    I would like to say I'm sorry again, I meant to respond to this sooner because I knew I had been harsh, but I got into a conversation with my sister. I don't mean to make you feel terrible for posting your opinion, but I also didn't want your post to go without responding. It was kind of difficult to do one without the other. Really, your intentions are grand, and I think that utilizing those intentions to learn more about other people would be fantastic. I'm coming from an extremely unfair perspective here-- I know what it feels like, I've read countless books about the subject, I've talked to plenty of people about it (including a therapist), and I've thought about it quite a bit. It took a lot of effort to get to this place of understanding, and even here I have a long way to go.

    Best way to regain my happiness: truth be told, I don't know. Don't worry, I'm not on the edge of suicide now, so talk freely (that can get kind of nerve-wracking). What happens with me is that my happiness falls away suddenly, and I don't realize it's gone until I've eaten a tub of ice cream and slept for 15 hours (no joke), then I'm staring at my computer wondering if it's worth the effort to turn it on... and then what? When I get like that, I really don't know what to do-- so I bake. That works for me, or at the very least it gets me off of my feet, but other than that I can't really do much. I think it's a matter of toughing it out, which can feel pretty dreary after awhile. Believing that there's something more tomorrow morning.

    Bad memories: I had to think awhile on this. Eventually the bad memories won't have as much of a hold on my life as they do now, but that will never mean that they aren't there. It's kind of like if you got into an accident and your knee was never quite the same again-- you could spend years and years complaining about it, but eventually, you have to learn to live with it. They're just particularly fresh right now is all, and it will take awhile to learn new ways of looking at the world.

    Suicide: No, it's not. Not right now at least. Have you ever had a thought that once you understood it, it never left? An event that changed the way you thought? The way you perceived the world? For example, I had the thought one day that I was actually living in a computer simulation and that none of this was real and that when my user logged off, I was dead or unconscious. I never quite saw things the same way after that, even though I know it's ludicrous (but still, there's that thought back there-- is it really ludicrous?). That kind of thought. When I finally accepted suicide as my answer, when indeed it was my only answer at that time, my perspective changed irreparably. Even though I understand that suicide is not the only answer now, that does not mean that I understand that it is a viable option and have the method to do so that is lethal, quick, and painless. I am not going to share the method here since that would be cruel and irresponsible. The fact remains that it is always there, in the back of my mind, and it scares me that one day I may kill myself.

    Positive self-image: You see, this is where you and I differ fundamentally. You say "having others give you a positive self image can counter-act the negative self-image". You also seem to be against the individual, and for the collective. I'm almost completely the opposite. I do not need anyone to give me anything, I obtain it for myself. Maybe this will be my downfall, I don't know, but it's an awful lot more empowering than expecting someone else to give everything to me. The negative self-image may be improved through positive interactions with other people, sure, but that only occurs if I act in a confident manner that does not rely on others for assurance. This is only my belief however, and I respect yours as well.

    Forgiveness: No. I do not think that I can forgive them. My aunt told me once that no matter what, you always love your parents. She had been repeatedly sexually and physically abused by her father and at the very least emotionally abused by her mother, if not physically. Yet she is telling me that it is impossible not to love your parents. I do not believe her for one second, because I renounced my love for my mother years ago, even if I hadn't recognized it. When you begin to fear the sound of her footsteps on the stairs, that's when you know love is absent. She didn't even have alcohol to hide behind! She had bipolar and borderline, but refused to receive adequate treatment for either.

    I feel as if I should be clear here to keep from being misleading. I was emotionally abused almost continually up until three months ago from since I was born. I hadn't realized what was going on until about a year ago. I am 17. My mother did everything short of actually hitting me, although she did threaten to do so multiple times and violated my privacy to ensure that I knew I wasn't safe from her grasp anywhere. She had told me that the alarm system in our house had video cameras in every room, then failed to tell me she was joking. I went for years under the impression that when I left the family room she would switch the channel to the video feed and watch me until I realized we weren't rich enough for that. Even then it took me awhile to get over the idea. My father allowed her to trample on me and my sisters without saying a word until we were out of the room, allowing our growing senses of self to be smashed into the ground-- all in the name of love!

    My mother would tell me who I was allowed to be friends with, would literally vet my friends, and then not allow me over to their houses unless she had met their parents, and them, and had accepted the time. That was if she was feeling physically and mentally able to handle the idea of me being out of the house for the night. Achieving these goals was generally so difficult and riddled with difficulties that I needed at least 3 weeks to get the okay, and then had to make sure that I didn't get her upset at all, or else I wasn't allowed to go. This resulted in me only have one or two friends that I never really saw outside of school and me staying at home for months at a time. Summers were horrible. Everything became worse this last year when she had to leave her job because she was diagnosed with Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and Sjorgrens syndrome so when I came home from school, I didn't have that hour or so of peace. It was her and me all the time. That's why suicide became the only option-- we (me and my sisters) had tried talking to my dad, but he refused to see the truth, and even once he did, he refused to do anything about it.

    I had tried all avenues available to me, and living in that home for the next month or so before summer (when I could move out and stay with my sisters) seemed like a complete hell laid out in front of me. I had hit a dead end, and tried to escape it all. My goodness, well there's the gist of my life's story. Look, even though this has gotten negative feedback for the most part, I still appreciate that you wrote it. Try not to get so defensive, and the "us" and "them" mentality, the black and white? I believe that can be attributed to a thing called "narrowing", Schneidman (a wonderful writer) writes about it in his book. It's a common phenomena where suicidal people begin to focus only on one thing (suicide) and see nothing else outside of that. He states that the first step in talking with a suicidal person is to get them to see the other options out there, to open their field of vision. Anyway, he's a great person to read if you're interested in this at all.

    --ThinkingCap
     
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I can try and enlighten you. This was something I said to someone recently. This is how life is like for me.

    My problem is not just depression although depression is what is worrying my doc the most at the moment (nearly got myself sectioned for it this week).

    Does that explain things a bit more?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2010
  15. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    How can you really care about people you don't know? I think when they do that people are just being kind and supportive but I can't believe they truly care..
     
  16. ThinkingCap

    ThinkingCap Well-Known Member

    I can honestly say that I care about people I don't know. I've never been much for doing things for fame or acceptance, I've always done them for myself more or less. That changed the way I view interactions with other people. When you stop trying to get them to accept you, and instead see them for who they are, the world is different. Every thread I see here is a person opening the door for me to get to know them, they are opening the door for me. I have this belief that every person has the capacity to teach me something, and the longer that person lives, the longer they have to teach me. Therefore, it is in my best interest to keep them alive-- no matter who they are, or their relation to me. Until you have wronged me, I hold you in very high regard, your actions from there on out denote where my opinion of you goes. In general, people are interesting and I'm lucky to get to know them. In a site like this, that's doubly so. There's a reason why each and every one of us landed on this site, something deep and troubling, serious. There aren't many places where that is true.

    I have my story, and you have yours. I'm hoping that I can help where those two overlap and maybe in the process understand a bit more about myself, and a bit more about other people. It would hurt me if someone I had talked to killed themselves, even though it wouldn't effect my "real life" if you understand what I'm saying. I was on a forum a few weeks ago, just reading through the posts. Lurking more or less, and I kept on following posts from this one user. As I read more I started learning that she had a debilitating illness that kept her from doing much of anything and that she was going to die soon. I rushed to send her a message, letting her know that she had impacted my life through her words without ever meeting me when I found out that she had died a few days before. I felt this loss, this sadness, that I would never get the chance to let her know how she had affected my life. That I would never get to read anything else that she had to say. You don't have to physically meet someone to form a relationship, we are made up of ideas after all, and ideas bear no shape.

    --ThinkingCap

    (and is it just me, or is this thread going a million different directions at once?)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2010
  17. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    How do you know I'm not boring, or a dick? What if I am, would you still care?
     
  18. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    I love you and care for you

    Dear Varek – I love you and care for you – it's the very reason for joining this forum. I did so because I believe that we are all responsible for ourselves, each other and the state of our world. Neither you nor I are our brother/sister’s keeper. But, because of our oneness on the inner level of life, every word, thought and action of one soul influences all others, positively or negatively. Young Gods in the making, that’s what in truth we are. Each one of us is responsible for their own wellbeing and that of the whole.

    The way I see it, we are all here together so that we can help each other, as best we know how to. That’s why I am saying to you now: Don’t give up; go for it! Find healing; walk that wondrous journey of discovery, hand in hand with the higher and Highest forces of life, who are waiting to be called upon by each one of us. Know that you are loved. It does not matter what you think, do or say, you are still loved. For one thing, I love you; that’s why I wrote this. God bless you and keep you safe, always.

    THE ANGEL IN DISGUISE
    There is nothing I can give you that you have not,
    But there is much, so very much that –
    While I cannot give it – you can take.
    No Heaven can come to us,
    Unless our heart finds rest in today: take Heaven.
    No peace lies in the future
    That is not hidden in this moment: take peace.

    The gloom of the world is but a shadow.
    Behind it – yet within everybody’s reach – there is joy.
    There is a radiance and glory in the darkness,
    Could we but see; and to see, we have only to look.
    I beseech you to look.

    Life is so generous a giver, but we –
    Judging its gifts by their covering –
    Too often cast them away as ugly or heavy or hard.
    Remove the covering and you will find beneath it
    The living splendour, woven with the love,
    Wisdom and power of the Divine.

    Welcome it, grasp it,
    And you touch the Angel’s hand
    That brings it to you.
    Everything we call a toil, a sorrow or a duty,
    Believe me, the Angel’s hand is there.

    That gift is there and the wonder of an
    Over-shadowing presence
    That protects us, is joyous too.
    Be not content with these joys,
    For they conceal even greater gifts.

    And so, at this time, I greet you –
    Not quite as the world sends greetings,
    But with profound esteem and with a prayer
    That for you, now and forever,
    The day may break and the shadows flee away.

    Fifteenth Century Prayer

    Source

    With love and light,
    Aquarius

    :hug:​
     
  19. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    Hi Aquarius, I'm really flattered you wrote that for me, I really appreciate it.

    But I'm still in denial. How can you say you love me if you don't know me? I'm the only person that knows me really and I don't love me so why should you? If you got to know me you'd change your mind.

    I'm sorry for the thread hi-jack, too...
     
  20. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Maybe its not a case of other people, maybe its a case of you projecting onto others how you feel about yourself.

    Its important to remember that what you see of yourself is an opinion and everyone else will have different opinions.

    Its really easy to believe that people don't care but its harder to think that maybe actually someone does and that someone sees something in you that you don't see in yourself.
     
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