Hello. I am a 20 year old male. I have been suffering from some form of "mental illness" for the past 8 years, and possibly my whole life. My condition has deteriorated to the point that every single day of my life is a living hell. I cannot function. I cannot go to school, to work. I have no friends, because I am unable to feel attatched to people, even family members really. I have severe anhedonia. Everyt morning, I barely have the strength to get out of bed. The list goes on and on. Basically, pretty much every aspect of my life is completely FUBAR. I have tried so so hard, in therapy, in life. Nothing has worked. The profesisonals have come to the conclusion that my mental illness is largely or comepletly being caused by unknown biological/neurological factors, which would explain why no amount of therapy has made so much as a dent. The sad fact of this matter however, is that the biological causes of mental illness are not understood at all really, which is why all they can really do for people nowadays is administer dangerous psych meds which don't even address the cause, just numb the symptoms, AND, they don't even understand how these meds work too. It will probably be many years before mentally sick people can get true medical help that doesn't chemically castrate them and is based more on actual known science. But, as for me, I truly believe I'm screwed. I wish I had enough "will power" to overcome my sickness, but I really don't. Its sort of like trying to think your way out of cystic fibrosis or cancer; it can't really be done. There is something wrong with my brain, or my chemicals, or my cytokines (cytokine theory of depression), or whatever, but, its gonna be a LONG time before this stuff is scientifically understood, which means a LONG time before effective treatments or cures. I've had an extraordinarilly painful life, and its getting worse. I feel my illness is both chronic and progressive, meaning it never really goes away, and it is getting worse and worse over time. BTW, not that it really matters right now, because psychiatric "diagnoses" are not based on objective medical/laboratory criteria, but are based solely on a clinican's observations, but, my "diagnoses" are "depression and anxiety" and obsessive compulsive disorder, although I truly feel those labels fail miserably to describe the breadth of what I experience on a daily basis. When I told my symptoms to the psychaitrist, she said "that's weird", further reinforcing the grim reality that no one knows whats really wrong with the mentally ill. I can't take the pain anymore. Every single moment is so painful. I've already done everything from thinking positively to eating healthy (vegan, no junk food whatsoever), to trying to staty active. NOTHING has worked, and, I suppose, why should it. If my brain or whatever is mysteriously screwed up, how can I possibly pull myself out of this? Its like asking a quadriplegic to run a mile; it can't be done. I want the pain to stop, but I don't think I'll every be able to kill myself. I honestly, no joke, wish I could put myself in cryogenic stasis (fry from futurama) until medical science could actually help me, but I read that they cannot do it to humans yet. I feel like my life is already over, like its been over for a long time, maybe my whole life.