I've been saying this for a long, long time and I think this year is the year. You know, there comes a time in all of our lives when we are going to have to die anyways. Whoever created us made death mandatory. Babies die, teenagers die, adults die, and the elderly die. Some get ran over by cars, some people get killed by others, some a disease and some suicide. The one thing we all have in common is we are all going to die and before you die you have already died somewhere in time because time is an illusion. So I am thinking I am going to kill myself this year. Life has been sucky. I've been suicidal my whole life but this year is a little different. I can just tell I will end up killing myself. I don't truly want to die but things will NOT get better. Some issues I have are deep rooted ones. I am very insecure and I feel I am not good enough. Nobody's words can help me and I don't want sympathy. I am so sick of crying and contemplating. I don't think medication can fix my issues coz the issues come from within. Why should it matter? My family is so distorted that they couldn't care anyways. ..Not that I'd need them to..I just can tell I will not live to see 2015. I just know it.