An introduction.....

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Omega, Sep 29, 2006.

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  1. Omega

    Omega New Member

    I dont know why I came here but death has always intrigued me. Its a goal every one is sub-consciously trying to achieve I guess. Somehow I find death a perfect state for a human being to be in.

    My story is I have no friends at all and I am housebound (well not strictly speaking cos I can walk but I am afraid of going outside). My family are unsupportive and they cant understand whats wrong with me. Hell I dont even know whats wrong with me! I'm really messed up cos I totally lack energy and dont enjoy doing anything at all. I also speak to myself alot which messes me up even more.

    I attempted suicide a couple of days ago. I hanged myself to the staircase with <mod edit: bunny - methods> and I guess I passed out. Next thing I know I open my eyes and I'm on the floor. I've got a terrible pain in my back :huh: and I realise that the f'in <mod edit: bunny - methods> snapped!!Shit.... I've got a proper <mod edit: bunny - methods> now so haha no chance in hell I'm gonna fail now

    See You In Hell. (A note to oneself)
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2006
  2. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Hey Omega.
    Sorry but we can't discuss any suicide methods here, we don't condone suicide here at all, this is a strictly pro-life site and all we can do is give you support and help in whatever way we can. :smile:
    You want our help, we'll be here for you, thats all I can say. :smile:

    Well, also that I also have no friends and dislike leaving the house, I'm a real loner, no social life, so you don't have to feel bad about feeling alone in your situation eh? Sorry that I don't talk to myself though but its perfectly understandable. :smile:

    Hope to see you around here some more. :smile:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum omega. If you would like support in other areas besides harming yourself, we will be glad to help. I hope you give us a chance for this. Please saty safe and take care of yourself. i hope you are feeling better about your life. :hug:
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF! I am glad you found the forum, I find it a great help and hopefuly you will as well. I am not sure what all your reasons are for wanting to die but I hope that we can help support you and if need share opinions and advices.

    If you ever need or want to talk my PM box is always open to you. :wink:



    With love,
  5. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Welcome :)

  6. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum.

  7. special_needs

    special_needs Well-Known Member

    :welcome: to the forum, omega
  8. Omega

    Omega New Member

    I'm not talking about methods just my experience. Hell, no one needs the internet to tell them how to do it, if they wanna go that bad then they will find they're own way.

    The reason I want to die is because I haven't had any friends for over 5 years ever since I left high school. I left them all behind when I went to college and never talked to them again and only realise now what I have lost. Because of this I started to talk to myself quite regularly to have meaningful conversations I guess but its at these times I start criticising myself and blame everything including myself. I suffer from depression because of all my problems and I've had counselling several times when I was at uni and at my clinic but every time I came out of the sessions I felt even worse than when I went in so i quit.
    My family have started to criticise me ever since I quit uni and stopped doing the things I used to love and they say why dont you do something with your life and my dad keeps calling me a loony and its only getting worse. I hate my dad and my family because they cant even begin to understand what is wrong with me.
    I feel that this is some kind of punishment from god because if you have no friends or social interaction then you become nothing and that is what I am. You become one of the forgotten and who's gonna remember the forgotten when they are gone? God,if you can hear me i ask you now to keep giving me this punishment cos I will take it like a man and when I die punish me more, immolate me cos I am not worthy of your presence.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 30, 2006
  9. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF :)

    I'm here if you ever want to chat.

    {{{hugs}}} to you x
  10. claycad

    claycad Well-Known Member

    I've never had any close friends, and the friends that I have had I was never close enough to miss in the first place. For the first time in my life I have absolutely no friends. None. And I talk to myself constantly, so I know how you feel. I am now pretty much to the point were I hate everyone and don't want friends, which is probably worse then wanting friends and not having any.

    Also, sometimes you have to try several different counselors before you find the right one, and you should probably try meds and if you have tried meds and they didn't work then try different kinds of meds.
  11. Omega

    Omega New Member

    The friends that I had in school were really good to me up to the time I left for college. They turned on me cos I was leaving them I guess and I can understand that. The worse part is I never spoke to any of them again which hurts a lot. I also feel that I hate everyone in this world for ignoring me and that in turn makes me hate myself even more, its a vicious cycle of neverending hate. I wish I could scream and let it all out but I cant and I'd rather keep it all in me and let myself blow up inside.
  12. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I haven't really had friends in many years as well. Not even in high school either.
    And its confusing, I know its "bad" for one to have no friends and I keep getting depressed at everyone else who has friends, but yet, I also kinda like to be alone and all that.
    I feel like screaming too, I ended up growing to be such a pathetic loser of a man and my parents are probably wondering why I'm such a pathetic freak anyways. I always feel like the only one......sigh..........I keep feeling that I have to commit suicide now since I ended up so messed up. :dry: :sad:

    As I'm typing this now, I'm feeling really angry, bitter, sad. I am the biggest pathetic loser alive on the face of this planet, why did I become so screwed up and different from everyone else? I'm such a failure.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 30, 2006
  13. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF

    vikki x
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