Life is straight forward people cause complications mostly self-inflicted. So you thought there wouldn’t be consequences but you weren’t really thinking nor were you understanding that cause leads to effect. Didn’t you realise that your conscience would at some point accuse and judge and that you would experience guilt and the foreboding sense of looming judgement. Feeling sorry for yourself blaming all and everyone seeking release but finding despair hoping for comfort where there is none. The mocking bird has flown in and circles your mind there is laughter there is derision but not from you.