An opinion... of kinds.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by FrainBart, Jul 27, 2013.

  1. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    We are all entitled to an opinion. Each may have their own, none is never lesser or of greater importance than another. So please understand that. This is My opinion, if you do not agree with it, then do not respond. I am not here to be berated, or belittled just because you disagree with my opinion.

    I have not been a member for long (just a year, it is short in comparison to a few who frequent this site). I have seen so many people come and go, some for better some for worse. It is a shame for those who fall too low to pick themselves back up. It is a shame that they wont allow others to give them a leg to stand on. It is sad, but it is a part of life.

    However my opnion is not on that, but on the members of this site who so frequently proclaim to always talk to someone who sits alone in triggering subjects... I find it rather bemusing that upon frequent if not all times I sat alone in that room for hours, not one would ever drop a message not even a hi, cant talk but saw you down there...
    How belittling does that feel... greatly... But the whole fact that makes it worse is that these self proclaimed people then go through alternate sources to ask them how I am, when I was sat in the room not some 5 minutes previous. I have never been big on self worth but thats a sure fire way to make someone feel smaller than a damn ant. Is it so difficult to even drop a message on the forum, or leave a message on their wall... no. You have to go through a secondary source. Am I that unapproachable, am I that insignificant that I cannot be communicated with.

    Part of the reason I took a break from the forum was the feeling of isolation. I was outcast to the bottom of a dirt pile (once again forgive me but this is my opinion and my opinion is as valid as yours may be).

    So a question to every single one who reads this thread... ask yourself this... Do you ever ask someone else about another person? If so, Why? Why do you not approach the involved person direct?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I cannot talk on chat i just find i am too anxious to go there and many have problems of their own and are struggling to just exist themselves hun I am sorry you are feeling so isolated here hun but know if you ever need help you can pm me anytime and i will respond as soon as i can hugs
     
  3. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I have been known to ask on the odd occasion, someone else about another person. However, it's usually reserved for asking a friend about their child - or about someone else who I don't personally know (ie, asking say, my dad about his side of the family and medical history where I have no direct contact/dealings with them).

    With regards to my son, and me contacting his mum. I have been known to directly communicate via letter (yet some stupid idiocy led me to not keeping a copy for my own records), with no response. I have then tried communicating via a known mutual friend, and the only response I have had regarding any sort of input, has been since I asked for a message to be passed on regarding my genetic condition - to say that son's mum was going to book a doctors appointment to consider checking for the gene.

    But when it comes to other people, generally speaking if I want to communicate with someone that I have the capacity to, I will try to be direct. It doesn't concern anyone else. And the main reason for me being like that? Being on the receiving end of third party communication - ie, my brothers asking my mum how I am..... And yet, they have the capacity (albeit via facebook), where they could contact me directly. Not once have they used it since to ask me how I am. I appreciate that they may not prefer it, but damn.. can they not ask me?
     
  4. Bluey

    Bluey Active Member

    Hi FailingHope. I don't know you but your post is a formalier one on any forum on the net really. I have had a lot of experience in posting in forums in my time. A lot of ppl end up feeling just like you do. Weather on a friendship forum or this one or even on the one I used to post in winch was a forum for ppl that feel lonely.
    I don't think ppl dislike you. I think its just most ppl come to this kinds of forums looking for help themself. We had a chat room in the lonely forum and I can remember ppl feeling the same has you. its ironic really that you visit a forum on loneliness only to be made to feel more lonely.
    Most of the time ppl can only simplifies with you and would have trouble giving you ground breaking advice like what we would all hope for.
    I know its difficult when you're feeling so bad anyway. But try and not take things like this to personal. Its just the way things work really.
     
  5. Lux

    Lux Well-Known Member

    This is heart-breakingly true, and I can relate. I've sat in the room many of times without anyone to follow, but I also admit that I've let people sit there alone too, mainly because I know I am dreadful with advice and I'm purely scared of what they might say to me.
    What if I can't help?
    What if they do something and I was too useless to stop it?

    I'm such a selfish person.
    I think I'll make more of an effort to talk to people who seem to need it.
    <3
     
  6. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi,
    I don't know what happened, people often have all manner of problems. Sometimes you just can't take on anymore problems, but you still care enough to want to know how that person is.
    I can't enter chat either, would really distress me. I can't answer PM's/VM's most of the time due to a previous bad experience. But, I care about others and love to help whenever possible.
    I am sorry that happened to you anyway.
    Take care
    Kate
     
  7. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    Thank you for the responses, I know what I have written is not as polite as I had intended, I know I am also a culprit of not speaking to someone sat alone in triggering all the time, and perhaps some of you are too... everyone is guilty of it.... however on interactions with the few people who have responded in here not one of you have ever declared to always talk to someone sat alone in a room.

    Thats the key difference. The ones that infuriate me are the ones who declare how they always pm someone sat alone.... so is it just me they dont want to talk to... I find it more infuriating when these people also go and ask someone else about me.