An uphill climb to the bottom

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Wishbone, Feb 18, 2008.

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  1. Wishbone

    Wishbone Member

    Greetings. Rarely do I see a case similar to mine.
    My purpose for writing is to hopefully share my situation with an expert.
    I recently visited your website and other sites concerning Suicide Awareness and Prevention.I noticed there seems to be more attention on Teenagers and on the Elderly. Unfortunately, I fall in between. After reading
    this you may agree with me that i should kill myself.
    I am a male approaching forty five years old currently under treatment for Depression at a local clinic. My wife died suddenly in 1993 of a heart condition(Severity was concealed from me by herself & family). Our marriage lasted approx six weeks (no kids).
    Since then I feel myself eroding from the inside out.
    The articles published state that Men complete Suicide more than Women. Especially unmarried men with no kids. They may state some of the reasons, but no solutions. Could it be that this society poses undue pressures that some people cannot overcome? For instance:
    As an individual, nothing is guaranteed. However, you, as an individual are required to guarantee results
    to your Employer, guarantee payments to the bank for your car loan, guarantee payments to the bank for
    your mortgage and pay taxes. If you default, damage to your credit and reputation will occur. Can you do the same to your boss when they lay you off ? No.
    My Psychiatrist agrees with me on this, and says as unfair as it is, I need to work within this system somehow.
    But suppose I'm no longer able to ? What alternatives do I have ? Where can I go ?
    My inner resources have been slowly eroding. Like a rock under constant running water.
    I try to meet women, but most of them give me dirty looks and if i manage to go on a date, they bum a free dinner and say they don't want to see me again.
    They say Suicide is wrong and unnecessary. But is it ? It is more than just staying alive. You have to stay alive and PRODUCE despite personal hardships. Is it political ? Maybe it is, because you pay taxes
    regardless whether you like your job or not, miserable or not.
    A hospital may be able to keep you alive, but unless you earn your own money, you end up a burden to someone else. I, for one do not want to be a burden. I don't think an agency or person wants it either.
    But if Suicide is wrong, I may not have a choice.
    In this country men in their thirties and forties are expected to help themselves. To be providers, to have solid careers, and to have answers. If one is unable to do this, he is tossed aside and forgotten.
    Thank you for your Help.
  2. Ahrimar

    Ahrimar Well-Known Member

    No one is forgotten. Just because todays society thinks one thing, doesnt mean that it is right.

    You are never lonely though. You have friends, always and forever. Girlfriends can come and go but that one friend will always be there for you and with you. Im sure you have someone like that, you jsut dont realise it. Even if it someone that you havent talked to for years, they will still be there to listen.

    Stop living your life on the terms that society puts out for you. Live your life the way it makes you happy. If your single then so what? Do what entertains you, do what makes you happy, stay up till 4am eating that bowl of mac and cheese and watching some movie on tv. So what? If your happy doing that, then do it. Walk around your house naked, whatever.

    Like i'm saying, society is only right for the sheep that want to follow it, just because you are an individual doesnt mean that you dont belong.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

  4. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum. I feel the same as you as far as falling in between. I'm a woman but also feel the pressure to have it all together and help myself but we still have to depend on others sometimes, especially when we are dealing with depression. Sorry I don't have anything helpful to post right now but I am glad you've joined us. :hug:
  5. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum sir
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I fall into the same age group as you do. I don't believe males are the only ones with these pressures. They face adults in general. I am not saying that the pressures are not great, because they are immense for some people. Just take things a little bit at a time. If you break them into managable sized tasks it isn't so overwhelming. Set goals and do what you can to achieve them. Talk to the companies that hold your loans. Sometimes they have programs that can help. :hug:
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :welcome:
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