Analyze it.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by headrushh, Sep 8, 2006.

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  1. headrushh

    headrushh Member

    It's something that just hit me not too long ago.

    This saddness comes and goes. Like a period, yet unbelievably, it surpasses the period a girl expierences! Amazingly.

    This saddness lasts for about two weeks, and I'll have a break of numbness or 'goodluck'. Then, this saddness comes back to me. It won't be a heavy saddness, but then it'll progress where I'm just withdrawled and people notice a change. Then it repeats over and over.

    It eats at you when it is in effect. What causes this saddness?

    It's amazing on how I'm reading myself. But, you have this saddness or 'depression', you grow almost attatched to it. It's the feeling you know because it takes you over so adruptly. Like an imaginary friend, but, only makes you more miserable, and not as easy to wish away.

    Often, this saddness to suicidalness. Does it not? In my case, it does. You grow so sad, you just want a way out. I've tried suicide, and each time I've noticed, I was too worked up and anxious and never went through with it. Then, how do some people go through it.

    This final thought scared, pardon my language, shit out of me.

    Does this saddness break you down to the point where you're almost content with dying? Will this saddness do that to me? My depression has settled down, and I've been thinking. Could I actually suceed if I sorted everything out, and looked at whatever choice of suicide and actually be content. Be at peace when I decide to do it.

    What happens if I do reach that point?

    I don't know. This is all in my POV. Not speaking for everyone. But, it scared me just thinking about it. My mind was just racing and it put on the breaks when I thought of the last part.
  2. WeepingWillow

    WeepingWillow Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're thinking about that. I've thought about it only a handful of times but have never tried to. Maybe the anxiousness is your body fighting your thoughts? It knows better? I'm just throwing that thought out there. So far, you're doing well by being here IMO
    Sadness and deep depression sucks but somehow there is a reason for being here. I say that even tho I think of suicide at times. I still believe that, otherwise I wouldnt be here myself. I have a yahoo messenger ID. Just let me know if you want me to add you or be added. Anyone, for that matter.
    I really feel you're fighting yourself. I think that's good tho because it means you're still here. I'm glad for that. (((hugs)))
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