And again...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Ajean, Jun 5, 2012.

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  1. Ajean

    Ajean Well-Known Member

    Hi, its me again. Back in the Crisis Forum...

    Well, I've been lurking on the site for a few hours, just trying to get a grip on everything.
    Posted a thing in the Relationships and Sexual Orientation Forum...

    But I know I've got much worse things going on right now than wanting to be a lamp.

    And I'm in an insane amount of pain so I can't even go curl up in bed and feel sorry for myself.

    I've been trying to keep busy. Hasn't been working to well.

    Had an MRI 2 weeks ago, a-holes didn't even call before they left on vacation and I got a piece of paper in the mail saying my brain looked normal. Well, wonderful, but WHY DOES IT HURT?! and why the hell couldn't you have bothered to pick up a phone and spend two minutes so I could know?
    God, I hate these people.

    I managed to, in less than 48 hours, hit my head, and now I have a third eyebrow made out of a bruise, fall in the shower, and fall down the stairs. Whee. Isn't it so much fucking fun to be sick?

    I'm in a horrible mood. I just feel like kicking children and calling people fat and ugly and making everyone feel like shit. And I don't know why.

    But I'm stressed, and worried, and I hurt, and when I get stressed my body decides to start a period, which kicks up that whole debilitating... THING.

    I just don't know what to do with myself. At all...
  2. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    I understand completely. I've been pretty much bedridden for months now. Suicidal since I was ten years old. I suffer from lupus and all my test results come back NORMAL! BUT I feel so horrible and am on multiple pain killers. I had a near death experience just three weeks ago and even though I thought that I wanted to die, I fought like crazy to come back! The human survival instinct just kicks in I suppose. Being sick is awful and a terrible burden that I wished no one had to bear. But don't give up.
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    often being in pain makes us want to lash out. It's hard to find a good way to deal with anger. Generally I believe in doing what comes naturally, but also being compassionate. So if you call somebody something, maybe apologize afterward.

    Supermodel, you might want to try Chinese Medicine for the lupus. If you can't find or can't afford Chinese medicine, I might be able to advise you on some foods and herbs to try out. You should certainly run anything that you might try by a doctor first though.
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