My wife has never been particularly easy to get along with. She thinks she is always right, always has to have things done her way. But beneath that she has a really good heart. And I have broken it. When she screams at me I see pure, unadulterated HATRED in her face. It is a very ugly site. I am an alcoholic and drug addict, and last week I had a relapse. I also started to take benedryl and unisom as over the counter sleep aids, because sleep is my only refuge. When she found out she went totally over the top, yelling and screaming and hitting--but the horrible thing was her face. Pure, unadulterated hatred. I can't stand to look at her, and even worse, I know that she cannot stand to look at herself. I have killed everything that was good in me, and now everything that was good in her. I have killed two good lives. Perhaps taking one (mine) can allow the other to heal.