And I was doing so well.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by doesntmatter, Dec 9, 2013.

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  1. doesntmatter

    doesntmatter Member

    A few weeks ago my girlfriend of five years, who I was about to ask to marry me, decided we shouldn't be together anymore, and I thought I was doing alright, but I'm not. Even after years without cutting, I fell right back into it. Sometimes I don't think I'll ever truly be able to stop. It owns me now, just like it used to. I just want to die.
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    hi doesntmatter,

    i'm sorry to hear that your gf broke up with you so unexpectedly! thats bound to be hard on anyone!! dont be too hard on yourself about falling back to cutting again. cutting is an addiction like any other... so you're right, you will never get totally over it, but as you saw, it does become more manageable the longer you are away from it. just try to get yourself back off again, dont punish/beat yourself up.... instead, set small goals for yourself and give yourself rewards for each goal you complete... larger rewards for longer goals... if you fall back to it again, take note of the amount of time you were away from it, and try again... this is the way i did it (i've been free of it 5yrs, but still struggle)

    6 hrs
    12 hrs
    1 dy
    2 dys
    4 dys
    1 wk
    2 wks
    1 month
    2 months
    3 months
    6 months
    9 months
    1 yr
    1 yr 3 months
    1 yr 6 months
    2 yr (around that time it will be easier again, if not before)

    for the 6hrs -2 wks, you create small rewards for yourself (maybe a certain food treat you like, or going to the movies, etc... )
    for the 1 month -6 months, you create a "medium size" reward for yourself (maybe going out to dinner, or to an amusement park, maybe even taking a couple dys off work and just relaxing/having fun, go out somewhere with your friends)
    for the 9 month - 2yr, create a large reward for youself, after all , at this point, you deserve it!! (this can be anything from just going wild buying yourself things you've wanted for a long time, going on a vacation, taking a week off work, whatever you've really wanted for awhile)

    if you don't have money to spare or can't afford any time off work ... here are some other ideas

    small: go for a relaxing walk somewhere, watch a favorite tv show, just take 2hrs out for yourself just to yourself nobody else, sleep in, etc
    medium: play games with your friends, go out window shopping, make your favorite meal, etc
    large: do whatever you want to relax/have fun for 1 wk

    hope this helps!!
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