And so it begins...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Butterfly, Dec 26, 2013.

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  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    The inevitable downfall after Christmas, although very disappointed I couldn't make it through Boxing Day without the suicidal pangs and urges. So many thoughts and things are making me extremely sad right now. I don't just feel depressed, I want to hurt myself. I don't deserve what I have, I don't deserve anything.
  2. Katichu

    Katichu Member

    Heh... I understand this very well... You just gotta hang in there. Use the chat room. Many people will help you in there I promise!!! Xx
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    This time of year is just awful, at least that's how I feel about it. Fortunately it will be done soon, and there won't be any more holidays for a while. Why are you feeling so down? What's triggering you, and do you have any ways that you can distract yourself from feeling so down?
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I love this time of year, I love Christmas for so many reasons. But like, now it's all over I've got nothing to distract me if that makes sense?? There are a few things bothering me, but not really able to discuss them on an open forum as its extremely personal. But they are things that will pass and are just amplified because my mood took a nose dive.
  5. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    why did ur mood take a nose dive?
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I'm not really sure to be honest. Mood cycling I guess.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope that mood dive starts to turn around soon Butterfly if not talk to your doc ok see if you can get something added on to help you through Stay safe ok we care about you here hugs
  8. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    My neighbor caused me to have a horrible Christmas day and the day after. She was so hostile to me because of a misunderstanding of what I asked her when I greeted her on Christmas day. Then she was so hurt by it that she harassed me all day and all night until I had to tell the manager how she's been going off the deep end about something totally misconstrued. Anyway, she and I are going to leave each other alone for a while and I'm glad she stopped bothering me with her silly stuff. Christmas was hard because I was the few residents here that stayed here alone from family and friends. I know that I already celebrated the holiday with my folks the Sunday before, but I still felt lonely and felt sorry for myself for all kinds of reasons. I felt horrible and cried. But I recovered and realized I was also having a mood swing over the holiday. I will try to keep myself distracted in my apt. and keep posting in this forum. It helps me a lot.
  9. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    I'm sorry you're feeling like right now, but I can relate to this completely. Holiday's are the worst for me and I never think I can make through any of them.
    You're not alone. Were all here for you. :grouphug1:
  10. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I'm not triggered by the holiday period. I've just got nasty racing thoughts obsessed with death flicking through my mind constantly, graphic images replaying in my brain and shit in my head that I can't tell the difference between them being messed up thoughts or voices. I don't even really feel depressed as such, just wreckless and suicidal.
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