:( and the stupid crisis chat that I like is not available...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by MdngtRain, Sep 12, 2013.

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  1. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    I feel like crap. The depression's really bad these last few days. I called my T and asked for some extra time (which she has on Sat.), but I was hoping to talk to someone a bit tonight... I checked both sites, and both are "not found"... go figure. (the chats here are too confusing for me)
    The music is helping numb my head. I wish there was something that I could take to help it feel better, but meds just make me worse. I want to cry and break things (myself). This all just sucks... Maybe I will take something to help me sleep. The impulses to self-harm and OD are high, but I am tolerating them... I hate this roller-coaster of emotions. I just want an out... :frown-new:
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi MdngtRain sorry chat is not working fo ryou I do hope you were able to keep yourself safe hun music get a warm bath or shower eat some of your favorite foods do something that will bring you kindness ok Hope you can get some sleep tonight and that your brain gives you a break You go ahead and cry ok hit your pillow let out the pain that way hugs
     
  3. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    I'm just so tired of feeling like this. Saturday is far away. I don't want to deal with the intimacy issues with my wife. I don't want people around. I want to be allowed to self destruct... I'm so, so tired of everything.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can do it hun tomorrow is friday just one more day to get through ok keep talking here it will go faster hugs
     
  5. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    I don't even know what to say. I want to be as physically shattered as I feel inside. every time I think I can turn over and try to get some sleep, the tears come. that stupid chat is still off-line... not that I know what they could do for me. I want permission to just give up. I know that no one will give it to me, but I want it. Maybe if I take my sleep meds I can be passed out for most of tomorrow. That should make it go faster. I don't even know what I expect my T to do for me, or how it would help. I don't have insurance, so I can't afford to go to a hospital, and I don't know what they would do for me either. I just want out... I can't do this anymore. and yet I am too scared to do anything about it. :/

    I need out of this.

    I don't know how you have the energy to keep up with all these posts. much respect...

    I'm going to try taking one of my sleep meds, hope it helps...

    haven't taken meds yet, but did some reading that made me feel a bit better... maybe I can sleep now?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 12, 2013
  6. MdngtRain

    MdngtRain Well-Known Member

    Sleep helps for a little while. Unfortunately, the longer I'm awake the worse the depression gets. I did some research last night that brought some peace, but now I'm starting to think again. I want to hide and very. I want to waste away. I'm so tired of everything. Just have to wait to talk to my T tomorrow, hoping that will bring some relief :/
     
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