I feel bad And sometimes people notice, which I am so greatful for. And they say, "Are you okay?" And I say "Yeah, I'm just really tired" And they smile and leave me alone. I don't know how to tell them when I'm not okay... I don't know how not to lie. I've lied so much. I don't recognize the truth anymore. I know I'll be okay, but there are moments, or days, or weeks, or months, when I'm almost all the way at the bottom. Even in those times, I must subconsciously know I'll eventually float back up again, otherwise I'd be dead. But those are the times when I'm really not okay, and I'm really not just tired, and I really need something. But I don't know what yet. And I think maybe I could figure out what I need if I get to know myself a little better. Excuse the rambling, I just needed to get it out. Thanks.