Hey anyone who's bored enough to read this. Ooh! Nice smiley :new: Well this is my first forum post although I have lurked in the chatroom before. I'm feeling really lost and scared at the moment but mainy sad. Only the word sad does not quite cover it. Day by day, my despair gets deeper. Pople tell me just to hang on, just to hold on to see the light but the longer I wait, the heavier the burdan upon me. I feel I'm well past the crisis of this situation and still it gets worse. I want to die. I canot express how much I want to die, how I spend my days just lying on my bed or walking about, longing for it. But that's not what hurts me the most. What twists me up inside is that I can't do it; I can't kill myself. I've heard people say suicide is the easy way out. If this is the case, what manner of creature am I that I have not the courage. There have been times when I have made plans and have come so close. So many times, there has been nothing to stop me but my own weak mind. I have resigned myself now to the fact that I can never do it but I an so scared of every minute that flies by. I am feeling such despair that if I don't get out now, I never will. So, I hope my rant has aleviated some of your bordom. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad, I just wanted to get this out there.