And tonight, I welcome my death

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dreamer123, Jul 25, 2010.

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  1. dreamer123

    dreamer123 Member

    This month I tried suicide after planning it for more than a year. Unfortunately, it failed: <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> were not enough. I read later than the <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> would have made the difference.
    With no further access to prescribed drugs I found myself in panic about how could have I leave this life, since I can't do violent acts like jumping off buildings or jump to the front of a train. I was just looking for a painless death after a painful life that brought to a dead end.
    Tonight I will try it the way I could find: <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> that I will swallow since I can't take it all by any other via because I never did any drug before.
    I'm nervous about the pain it can cause, I'm nervous about its efficiency - specially being swallowed.
    Wish me luck. And remember: Life is a lady. Try always to preserve yours before considering such a painful act as is any form of suicide.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 25, 2010
  2. Frequency

    Frequency Member

    Please don't do this.
    While I don't know your situation and your pain, I would at least urge you to do research about the effects of swallowing that much cocaine.

    What if this ends up adding to your pain rather than ending it?
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    it would be a very frightening experiance something you do not want to do You want peace not this end okay go to your doctor and get meds that will help okay i did and i am a little better now coping so can you
     
  4. dreamer123

    dreamer123 Member

    I'm afraid of it, pain is something that I had enough. I studied it before, learned my lesson from the first failure, and I hope is effective, though it's not certain.
    BTW, I'm now a teenager facing a love problem. I'm a grown-up guy that lived an injustice that took anything away from me. Since I don't believe in any God, I see death as a natural consequence of life, the ultimate peace, which is all I need now.
    Why am I posting in a suicide forum ? Not looking for any help actually, I'm enjoying my last drinks before doing it, just wanted to leave a word to those who may consider suicide, to tell them that this is probably not a suffering that they want to face.
     
  5. Frequency

    Frequency Member

    Still wish you would reconsider.
     
  6. dreamer123

    dreamer123 Member

    Thank you, I wish I could too.
     
  7. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    We NEED YOU AND LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO STAY. WE can find hopre for you PLEASE. I beg you please pray and TRUST ME. PLEASE I BEG YOU STAY
     
  8. dreamer123

    dreamer123 Member

    Thanks for caring, I'd love to stay too, life brought me good things too. But it's not possible.
    Try to put yourself in my shoes: I was wrongly convicted of a crime that I didn't committed, so I left my country - while I could - after offering all of my goods, and came to the other side of the world - to the city I love the most - to write a book telling my truth and then die in freedom. I'm not a criminal, not the kind of guy who would live a life running away, not a guy who would accept to live a life destroyed by an error. Dead end here. Just hope my book teaches something to somebody to avoid further mistakes in the future.
     
  9. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    You will give the people who unjustly accused you th eultimate victory if you take your life. WHY NOT LIVE AND FIGHT THEM AND BE AN EXAMPLE TO THERS WHU GET TREATED UNJUSTLY. PLEASE. YOu sound like an amazing person. Let us know your story and let us also help you. Hurting yourself is not the thing to do. DONT LET THEM TAKE THAT FROM YOU TOO. PLEASE LET US LOVE YOU AND HELP YOU PLEASE
     
  10. dreamer123

    dreamer123 Member

    There's nothing to fight for. My honor and dignity brought me to this night. If it's going to be a victory for them, then my hope lies on Darwinism.
    I just want peace, the peace this world has no way to offer me anymore. But like I said, my message pretends to be an advice to people who thinks about suicide: in most cases life is worth, there's hope even if you cant see it. The pain of being here, sitting in this chair alone, looking to all of those capsules that I filled up with a deadly substance is much bigger than the courage most people need to get over their suicides thoughts.
     
  11. .Dan

    .Dan Active Member

    We all wish you would reconsider. Please, stay with us longer.
     
  12. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Hey where can I buy this book?

    Also, if you want to write a message of hope to people then you may want to place it in this section of the site instead:

    http://www.suicideforum.com/forumdisplay.php?f=39

    And suicide methods aren't allowed to be pointed out or discussed. :nono: So you should edit it out of your posts and if you don't then the mods will do it eventually.

    And yes, as others have said, killing yourself would be a big mistake. So don't do it, ok?
     
  13. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Don't give up. You can change your situation in life with effort. There are many things you can do to improve you life, and you can do them if you truly tried. If I gave up everytime something hard came my way I would not be here, and that would be sad, because it is through my trials and errors that I have learned who I want to be, and how I am to be. I am stronger and more productive because of them as well. You are never alone, and can find the rosk you need in all situations once you admit that your methods are not working. Blessings..
     
  14. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    You die...they win

    From what you have said some people wanted you to go down, and they have failed.

    You have been proven innocent so it's time to get on with things.

    If you die then they win. :surrender:

    Is that what you want?

    Will the ones that hate you not say..."he must have been guilty see, he killed himself".

    Best wishes
     
  15. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Re: You die...they win

    Hi dreamer. I'm sorry to hear that you were wrongfully convicted of a crime that you didn't commit but please don't harm yourself. Death is not the answer to your problems. :hug:
     
  16. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    PLEASE let us kno whow you are. Praying for you!!!! PLEASE DONT GO.PLEASE STAY HERE WITH US. You have friends who care~~~~ PLEASE
     
  17. filtereyeblind

    filtereyeblind New Member

    Why was the original post edited? It's good to know what didn't work for him so we know not to try it too.
     
  18. lionsheart

    lionsheart Member

    Anyone knows who/where he is?
    Any way of asking for help?
     
  19. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Suicide methods are not allowed to be posted here on SF. It's a pro-life forum, not a pro-choice forum.
     
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