I have been extremely angry at my family recently, and especially at my mother. And I kinda generalize to all mothers. I've been talking to my family about my suicidal thoughts to let them know the reasons and so that they'd feel less guilty if I ended up doing it. And the reaction I had was really negative (of course). And I got all this BS about how suicide was selfish, how it would destroy the family, how my mom would never heal and all that sh*t. And I'm thinking more and more that I never signed up for this, that she NEVER considered ONCE that she'd be better off not having kids, and that they would have brought it upon themselves if they felt bad. After all, why should suicidal people "think twice" about their loved once, and why should women who want to become mothers shouldn't have to ask themselves about the consequences, like "would my child REALLY be happy if he/she was alive? Is the pleasure I'd get from motherhood worth the pain that I would bring on this being?". I start considering that birthgiving is probably the most selfish, self-centered thing ANYBODY could ever do. And while I hear a lot of people screaming at suicidal people that they should get help, I never heard even ONCE that couples desiring children should think twice, that they should get help, that by their actions they will bring much pain and suffering. I am sick of this world's double standard, and I keep thinking about how much better things would be if I'd never been born.