Anger and Hurt

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, Feb 20, 2009.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I have so much anger and hurt in me right now and I don't know how to release it.
    I have been trying not to talk about it because every time I bring it up I get so so mad.
    Listening to P and M last night set me off.
    Don't talk to me about him
    Don't talk abut how close we used to be
    Don't talk to me about the things he put her through.
    I don't care. I care about what he said to me that day. I care about what he accused me of. I care about how he treated her. I care about the fact he's never been to the cemetery.
    I have so much anger building up inside of me at this moment. I swear to God I hope I get to see him before he dies because I have so much shit that I want to tell him. I would do it now, but I love her too much to do that. He was her baby. She worshipped the ground he walked on. She would hate for us to fight. So I hold it all in. I get slowly madder and madder. I am polite and smile and kiss him. I rant to my poor friends. But just know, that I have not forgiven you. I will not forgive you. I hate you.
     
  2. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    :hug: love you hun
     
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Love you too hun.

    Missed out something


     
  4. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    always was an arsehole, always will be an arsehole. ignore the ****.
     
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Ta Vik, nice to know someone agrees :laugh:
     
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    and i think it's a blessing you weren't in the room tbh, just my opinion of course.
     
  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Why him? :cry: Why at that moment? :cry:
     
  8. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    eh, think of it this way. If you was there then the last image youd ever remember is her dying infront of you. He's gotta live with that for the rest of his life and it's not gonna be pretty. You know full damn well that your Nan would of NEVER have wanted you to watch that and deep down i think she held off till you were out of the room.

    The last image i remember of your Nan is on the day she died. When she was walking about smiling. You don't want a horrible image like that.
     
  9. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    I still have the horrible images :cry:
    I have the image of him giving her mouth to mouth while mum was on the phone to the ambulance :cry: And all the stuff after she was gone.
    I know - deep down - that she didn't want me to see her go. We even talked about it, and she told me to my face.
    Thank you for caring enough to reply, even after everything :hug:
     
  10. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Replace the images with happy times and the bad ones will fade in time. Think about all the stories about her. The fun times you had. In Ireland, at home and so on. The more you think about the happy times and celebrate her life the easier it will be. Feel blessed for the life she had instead of sorry for the fact shes gone.
     
  11. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thank you :smile:

    I hate that the rest of my family have forgiven and forgotten what he said that day :mad:

    I'm going to sleep, thanks again x
     
  12. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I hope you feel better sam. :hug: