Anger, anger, anger...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by oxygenidia, Jun 23, 2011.

  1. oxygenidia

    oxygenidia Well-Known Member

    ...And sadness and emptiness and then more anger.
    I have a lot of anger inside it seems. Not even in periods, but like a constant anger that bubbles up to the surface every now and then. Lately it has been very often.
    It's a general sort of anger. There are certain particular people who have abused me in the past, but this anger that I feel is more towards people in general. It's not even towards one or a few people anymore but towards all people.

    I am a good person, I try to comfort people when they are sad, I have empathy, but there is a side of me that wants to inflict pain and suffering on people. Maybe because I feel that I have always given empathy and comfort and gotten knife stabs in the back? It's really starting to get old to maintain a positive attitude towards people when they always disappoint....

    I guess it's normal to want revenge on people who have abused you, but it has sort of grown into a hate towards all people. I would like to be that happy friendly person, at ease with themselves and others, but every time I try to be like that it just reminds me of how much I really can't be like that and never will be. It makes me sad, because I don't want to be the pessimistic, hateful person I have become. I feel like it's not really me. Not deep down inside.

    Anyway, anyone relate to this feeling? What can be done about it? I'm really sick of feeling this way...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You know your core value is not hate that is a good thing What you can do is get therapy to deal with all this pain and anger that is what the anger is really internal pain. The only way to heal hun is to talk to someone get the therapy that will bring this pain to the surface where you will finally face it and defeat it hugs to you:hugtackles::hugtackles:
     
  3. oxygenidia

    oxygenidia Well-Known Member

    Yeah, thanks. I actually just went to talk to someone for the first time recently. And yes, I do know it's not actually hate as much as pain and envy of other peoples seemingly "happy lives". So hopefully I'll get past it.
     
  4. MLKane

    MLKane Well-Known Member

    Yes I relate, it may be not exactly the same as how you feel but I do feel an anger at everyone, that has grown from an anger at just a few people. It makes me hate myself, because the vast majority of people don't deserve that hate.

    I deal with my anger by setting myself a list of rules to follow to try and limit and control that anger, stuff like if I get angry at a person I have to give them a genuine compliment, which makes me find something positive about them, or when I feel like I can't control my anger I hit myself and leave the room, no matter when or where I am. These rules might not work for you, and you'd probably have to find something that you are comfortable with but hopefully they'll give you an idea.

    I'm not past this, so I'm not sure what other practical advice I can give, but if you ever feel the need to vent I'm here.