So lately I have been cutting, and its been getting worse and worse as cutting makes me feel more of a failure, so i turn i keep cutting and it gets worse. I cant handle money, dont know how to budget...starve myself for the month cause i eat out for few days at the start of the month, I used to be able to have a job, be semi happy and have things going decent for me, but these 2 years have taken its toll on me, lost my car..."family orientated" insurance didnt want to cover me cause of 1 accident and 1 ticket... lost car, failed college cause i couldnt commute, 3rd time being in college.... now im living on welfare...doing nothing with my life...tried to get a job..no luck in this city...stuck in a year lease that ends in may...dont know if ill make it till then... I tried volunteering to network to get a job, but the people there are so rude/drug users and i dont want to be a part of that, so i stopped going. parents piss me off way too often, cant go home because they live in the middle of nowhere, no car = no job...doesnt make things better.. quite frankly I dont want to spend the rest of my shitty life cleaning up after them only to hear "you are a crybaby, you need a good ass kicking, stop looking at things "why me, poor me" well im sorry, my life aint perfect. I just cant stand doing this anymore, yesturday I went to 2 different counselling places for a "intake" appointment but still feel like shit and when i went to the hospital they said im not serious enough to be admitted, I dont know what to say about this city's mental health unit...I have 46 cuts on my legs and about 5 of them are pretty bad, and everyday i add more and more... im honestly ready to just give up...i work hard, or i feel i work hard to get better but nothing changes or does get better, so whats the damm point.