Anger Leads to my cutting

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Jagroen, Nov 1, 2014.

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  1. Jagroen

    Jagroen Well-Known Member

    So lately I have been cutting, and its been getting worse and worse as cutting makes me feel more of a failure, so i turn i keep cutting and it gets worse.

    I cant handle money, dont know how to budget...starve myself for the month cause i eat out for few days at the start of the month,

    I used to be able to have a job, be semi happy and have things going decent for me,

    but these 2 years have taken its toll on me, lost my car..."family orientated" insurance didnt want to cover me cause of 1 accident and 1 ticket...
    lost car,

    failed college cause i couldnt commute, 3rd time being in college....

    now im living on welfare...doing nothing with my life...tried to get a luck in this city...stuck in a year lease that ends in may...dont know if ill make it till then...

    I tried volunteering to network to get a job, but the people there are so rude/drug users and i dont want to be a part of that, so i stopped going.

    parents piss me off way too often, cant go home because they live in the middle of nowhere, no car = no job...doesnt make things better..
    quite frankly I dont want to spend the rest of my shitty life cleaning up after them only to hear "you are a crybaby, you need a good ass kicking, stop looking at things "why me, poor me" well im sorry, my life aint perfect.

    I just cant stand doing this anymore, yesturday I went to 2 different counselling places for a "intake" appointment but still feel like shit and when i went to the hospital they said im not serious enough to be admitted, I dont know what to say about this city's mental health unit...I have 46 cuts on my legs and about 5 of them are pretty bad, and everyday i add more and more...

    im honestly ready to just give up...i work hard, or i feel i work hard to get better but nothing changes or does get better, so whats the damm point.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are important. I know life is hard and you no way out. You are important nod remember that. Keep posting for support.
  3. Jagroen

    Jagroen Well-Known Member

    I certainly dont feel important anymore, wish i had a unbiased person i could just cry infront of and talk.
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    PM me please. Let's talk in private.
  5. Jagroen

    Jagroen Well-Known Member

    Well today I think is my break for cutting, as my cut was pretty bad and ended up getting 6 staples cause of it.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Jagroen, it's great that you got medical help for the cutting, did they offer you any kind of psychiatric or similar assistance? And you ARE important and people do care. :hug:
  7. Jagroen

    Jagroen Well-Known Member

    Im part of a Outpatient group, and seeing a counsellor on the 20th,

    just feels so far away...for having a unstable mind...I dont understand why it takes SO long to talk to someone
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