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Active Member
I hear their are stages to grief, and I've figured out that anger is one. But, I'm having a peculiar thought. You know how when you read a book for a class, they have you write a summary? I'm now sorta summarizing my friend in my head. They're gone, and I seem to be more objective. For years, I ignored my friend's self destruction and dishonesty, but now, I can see it all and I have no need to deny any facet of them. Now, balancing everything, -- I cannot say I am coming to a flattering summary. I feel they betrayed us, and I think they made their choice with free will, despite depression, etc. I've been depressed and suicidal when I was young, and I stopped myself.

Should I be ashamed of myself?


Active Member
no. if anything, it's growth of self.
Thanks. Sometimes I think it's sour-grapes-rationalization that's going on in my head. On the other hand, she in effect stole our friendship when she took the pills. When I first met her I realized I had befriended a thief and drug abuser. She may have even stolen from me one time, but as I couldn't be certain, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. In the end, she ripped me and a lot of others off big time. Shunned us, then died. Years of friendship led up to nothing more than some unanswered phone calls, then months later a trip to a memorial service. That gives one a cold, betrayed feeling.

the problem is, as people, we're so trusting. we're always willing to give another chance. so it's never your fault. but damn it, at times we're *too* compassionate

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