I hear their are stages to grief, and I've figured out that anger is one. But, I'm having a peculiar thought. You know how when you read a book for a class, they have you write a summary? I'm now sorta summarizing my friend in my head. They're gone, and I seem to be more objective. For years, I ignored my friend's self destruction and dishonesty, but now, I can see it all and I have no need to deny any facet of them. Now, balancing everything, -- I cannot say I am coming to a flattering summary. I feel they betrayed us, and I think they made their choice with free will, despite depression, etc. I've been depressed and suicidal when I was young, and I stopped myself. Should I be ashamed of myself?