You know recently I have been having flares of suicidal episodes where I will want to die so very badly to the point of almost executing my plan. I will sit down and type notes out. Then I will grab the noose. Then I will just sit there. I have noticed that these episodes are more anger based over sadness based. I am angry at a multitude of things. The two primary ones being Z and myself. I am just worried. The more of the episodes I have the more intense the anger. It is only a matter of time before I finally snap and actually do it. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How can I coup?