Angry angry angry >:/

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Lady Byron, May 15, 2012.

  1. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    Lately I've just been feeling so angry. I'm angry at my mom, him, and especially myself. People at work have been piasing me off pretty bad too. Sometimes I just wanna scream and hit and just tell everyone to fuck off. And I have no one to talk to and everything just feels so freaking overwhelming and I've been trying so hard to be a good person, but I just can't seem to be the person I want to be. I don't even know who I am anymore. And it's so frustrating. Things start going well, I start to get a good head back on my shoulders and then he pops back into my life and I never know how to say no and then I'm back to being his crazy, psychotic person that I hate so much. But I dont know how to tell him no. And I always think its over between us but he knows what a fuck up loser I am and he reels me back in.
    Fuck you fucking asshole! I hate that you know how to play win my head and that you know exactly what to say to make me feel like I'm always wrong. I hate that you can turn my whole world upside down even though I always tell myself I am done. I hate that you had the last say. Ugh!!!! And I miss having my Facebook and I miss having my friends :( and I'm so sad that my mom chose this time, this moment to decide I'm not a good person either. :'( I just want you to want me the way I want you too. Why is that so fucking hard?? And why can't I let you go? When you have obviously never really wanted me? Just so done with this shit :(
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU are a GOOD person ok and this ass who keep reeling you back in I hope you have the courage to just once and for all kick his ass to the curb hun YOU deserve so much more hun you do hugs
     
  3. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    That's what the only 2 people who I'm closest to keep saying and I try so hard to tell him to fuck off but then I always think, I don't wanna end up alone anymore. I just need to grow a pair and tell him to go away next time. And I'm trying to get the courage to do so. It's so easy to say that to myself when he's ignoring me but this happens every time, has been for the last year or so. :( I feel like shit.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If you stay with him you will end up alone hun you need to drop him and find someone that will take care of YOU and respect you for life hun I know it is hard but in the long run it will be best thing you do Walk away now so you do have a chance at a better future hugs
     
  5. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Now im not speaking from experience, but from what i've heard it's better to be alone than in a relationship like that. If I were you, I think that I would rather be alone than in a controlling relationship like that. It's not healthy to allow yourself to be controlled like that. And as for that overwhelmed feeling, I'm very well acquainted with that little bastard as well. I'm not on too often either, but shoot me a PM if you wanna talk.
     
  6. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    I know it's not healthy and I know it would be better to be alone that with someone who treats me like I'm nothing, and it's so easy to say I'm done but my heart speeds up thinking about him. I dont know how to say no.
     
  7. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

  8. kristy1970

    kristy1970 Active Member

    Sounds like one of my old boyfriends... always turned things he did wrong around and made me feel like the guilty one... ASSHOLE!