I'm fairly new to this site and at first I wrote to divert my mind. It has helped. I just so angry with myself. I've caused so much trouble. It never ends. Hospitals, medications, therapy has put my family in financial hell. I don't know what to do. It's a no win situation. If I seek help, the more trouble I cause. I'm so stupid. Talking about my thoughts has only caused more problems. I'm not trying to talk anyone into harming themselves. I hope to find others that are in a similar situation. I'm trying to find out how treatment helped them. Or what hasn't worked.