Two weeks ago I tried the <mod edit-gentlelady-methods> It was the first time that I had actually tried to commit suicide, and it should have worked. When I awoke 12 hours later with the bag next to me, I was not relieved or happy or whatever to still be here. I was angry to still be here. During the night I must have gotten up and moved some things around in side, but had no memory of doing this. Now, because prescription drugs aren't that easy to get in Australia without going into some big story, if I am going to try again I only have the option of more extreme methods. I know there are a couple of quite easy ones I could try, but I wanted a peaceful 'go to sleep' death. I don't know why I am posting this. I don't want help. I don't want to be talked out of it. The only reason I have kept going for the past few years, is because I didn't want to upset other people, but I cannot continue to be here for that reason alone. Maybe I just want to here other peoples reactions to failed attempts. Maybe if we fail it's because we aren't ready to go? I was very determined and what I did should have ended my life. But ?????