so for the past week i have been feeling slightly better. it came after i sort of resolved some issues and felt a little lighter. when i realised this i felt secondarily happy. things were on the up. i started thinking about the future. today it's come trickling back. the debate is wearing me out. the discussion in my head is wearing me out. i'm really tired. i'm almost too tired to be properly angry. it's like all the work i've done has become... undone. stitch by stitch. I'm currently between employment and have no money and a credit card debt so going to the GP is out of the question. THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE.