Its as if life goes around in circles. I haven't visited the site for months, thats how it goes-ok for a while then back to reality. I've made some positive posts and many negative ones when lifes felt just too hard to go on, but I'm here which is something. I spent another 6 weeks in a psyche unit again from march to may this year and finally received treatment that lifted my mood. Its been ages since I felt the need to self harm and its been quite a revelation. It scares me to think that I was that bad. I'm angry with the way I've been treated up to now. This has been going on for me for years. Why didn't I matter? I had a key worker who didn't care, a consultant who told me what I would do rather than asking how I felt and what I wanted, and I've only just realised how bad they've been since I was sent to another unit due to bed shortages. They were disgusted that my key worker never even rang while I was in, and they talked to me, treated me like I matter. I was given a course of ECT, which I had my doubts about, but boy did it make me feel better! I've got a few memory probs but they're minor, at least it gave me my life back. I changed my consultant and key worker and hope I now have some future. I suppose I just want to say how angry it makes me that just because we have mental health problems people,even those who are meant to be helping,treat us like we don't matter or don't exist. Thank God I found some who really care before it was too late. It hurts to think what my family and I have had to go through because of lack of care. Am I the only one to be treated like this? I doubt it.