Lately I have felt very angry. Not flipping out at anyone or anything, internal anger, in my head. I moved away to do a 1 year course thinking it would throw me into a good social scenario and lift me once again. Turns out no, everything and everyone here has destroyed my every belief in myself and the world. It turned out that people who I would get to hang out with at first would find their own way, move to their own path, their own people, we were all just using each other, acquaintances, to find other people, to fill the void. Everyone's moved on and I am left standing here with nothing and no one, not a single real friendship, certainly no relationship. I am livid. The course itself has been demoralising to say the least, piss poor standard of teaching, a load of shit. Everyone and everything has made me question what the fuck is the point then? I thought I could be king of the world again, but no I am not good enough for anyone here, I am small, insignificant, I need to change the person I am. Fuck off. The main way out is death. I am angry, I can't sleep, I'm angry, I can't think to do the work I need to because I am angry. I am with shit people, who have shit on me, I have nothing in common with them, I have no leads to new friends, new relationships. I need an immediate change, I am angry, yet the only immediate change is suicide.