Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by cloud9, Apr 26, 2010.

  1. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    I feel so angry right now. I feel terrible. I feel like shit. You'd think I'd be feeling great considering I'm done uni for the summer, but nooooo. I just got some marks this morning and they were shit. I'm so disappointed in myself. Not the way I wanted to start my morning. This guy I know was posting on Facebook about how he really killed his exams. That really ticked me off... I went to the gym thinking I could maybe run it off, but after 40 minutes on the stupid treadmill I didn't feel any better.

    What's worse when I get home, my dad calls from overseas. He's back home dealing with his brother's death and sorting out properties etc. I know he needs someone to talk to but I hate it when he vents it on me. Looking to me for advice. What the fuck do I know? Sell the fucking properties. I don't want to set foot in that shitty country myself. I'd feel better if he sells everything and just comes back. Well not that I really want him around...

    When that call is done my mom takes the opportunity to vent on me too. Talking about the extended family and who bitched at who, and who betrayed who and all sorts of bullshit that has gone on which I don't care about. I really don't. Is it sad that I don't care? I really hope to break ties with family back home. Family is unreliable and they never have your back. At the end of the day everyone is looking after their own self-interests and looking to forward their own personal agendas. God I hate being brown! I just want to get away from all of this drama.

    When my dad was explaining to me the possibility of renting out properties instead of selling, my initial reaction was noooooo. I'd rather just get out of there completely. He then explained it could provide him and my mom with some income in the future should they decide to go back to Pakistan. I was thinking grrrrrrrrrreattt. Get my parents and the family out of the way. Pretty cold eh? I really don't look forward to meeting my fam. I mean whenever I do these disgusting feelings always turn up. Its depressing and I hate it!

    *sigh* :unsure:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2010
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    aww...hun you have every right to be angry. try not to be too hard on yourself about the grades tho. Family is hard to deal with i agree on that. if you ever want to talk im here.
  3. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    Thanks! I just can't shake the pissed off feeling I have over my grades right now. I guess I'll get over it.