animosity torwards depressed people

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by choking-social-structure, May 15, 2009.

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  1. i have a problem.

    anytime anyone vunerable or depressed trys to talk to me i feel this horrible urge to drive them over the edge.

    i was depressed for most of my childhood and teenage years and that left me with alot less compassion then i had originally started with.

    but over time my sadness slowing boiled up into this quiet rage that constant feels like its going to spill over.

    then i feel horrible when i catch myself thinking extremely ill will toward my fellow man.

    i have a beautiful loving wife that is my world and i do everything i can to make sure she is happy.i have wonderful friends and even a few family members that i can stand to be around.

    but why am i still sooo bitter?

    if this helps i feel somewhat like this song

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DilYs7scIgU

    its just this quiet anger that makes me want to attack people in power.
     
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I'm glad you have a loving family and friends you can stand.

    However, regarding your thread...first you state that you want to drive vulnerable and depressed people over the edge and then you state that you want to attack people in power.

    So, your rage covers quite a bit of ground. Also, this is a peer support group!

    Are you looking for any kind of help? If not, then I don't see the purpose of your message to a forum such as this.
     
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I can understand the urge to hurt other people -- it both gives you power and it also helps you even out the playing field because it's not fair that you should be so hurt and others aren't.

    While it makes sense emotionally, I'm sure you realize that that behavior is socially irresponsible and generally cruel. So I would suggest taking an anger management course and talking with somebody. The fact of the matter is most people have something really dark inside them, that eats at them. But as we age people develop ways of lessening those anguishes.

    Your dilemma reminds me of a speech Bonvolio makes to Romeo in Rome And Juliet:

    "One fire burns out another's burning;
    One pain is lessened by another's anguish;
    Turn giddy, and be holp by backward turning;
    One desperate grief cures another's languish;
    Take some new infection to the eye
    and the rank poison of the old shall die."


    It's ok to feel angry and blue, but over time it just perpetuates until life is harder and harder to enjoy.



    This is the fundamentals of life.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwARV9tPUw
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2009
  4. well, i really dont want to hurt anyone really, but at the same time they cant seem to stop from hurting themselves.

    its everyone.

    why the fuck can we not have one day where everyone just hangs out, smokes a joint and call a fucking time out

    no fighting,no killing.

    just a few good hits a few good laughs and maybe country permitting a few good video games.

    its the angwish of the human race that gets me so depressed/angry.

    even though im not exactly what you'd call holy by any means i have caught myself praying for just one day where everyone would just chill the fuck out and smile.

    thjat one genuine smile that lets everyone know that shits ok

    god is in heaven and alls right with the world.

    or is this the wishes of a optimist?

    i really,really hope not.
     
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I dig that! It's great when you encounter the rare genuine smile :)
     
  6. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Well even though you have all these good things now I would guess it'd be that anger that still lingers from childhood. Or maybe you felt you didn't get any help through your depression growing up so no one else should either.

    But it could be seen as a good thing too. It's very dangerous to push people over the edge, but sometimes over the edge is where I need to be. To lose hope and just cry and cry. Sometimes I come out with a new perspective. Luckily I've never attempted suicide during one of these times, but being over the edge can be a good thing sometimes.
     
  7. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    I think sometimes when we depressed people get angry at other depressed people, its really just us hating ourselves and seeing it in others and getting mad. Its easier to just put all that self hate into someone else when you see similar traits, I feel it at times.
     
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