I've a pretty big one coming up soon. It seems like there are always lots of dates and events in my mind all the time. Anyway I said a few years ago when my other half left, that I would too. ITs more about being unable to get out of a cycle of crap. Good day, bad day, okay day, miserable day etc. And it seems I can't move forward or onwards or whatever. One thing triggers another and then im a mess all over again. This is rediculous and no way to be. It's no ones fault but my own and I wonder if really i just want to be like this. I don't think the answer is yes. I really don't. But jesus somrthing has got to give at some point. I'm scared of th next couple of weeks and knowing how I feel now, I wish I could get out of it all.