anniversary today - 32 years - and i don't care great family history - father and three brothers - all of them married and only one of them, other than me, divorced - next eldest separated from his wife recently, both daughters post-highschool, living on their own or with relatives no real companionship, no hugs - haven't really been touched since hurricane sandy - and months more before that - i've lost track - to the point where i don't even want her to touch me any more daughters are not ready to move out - one has graduated but is trying to figure out what to do with her life, the other starts student-teaching in the fall, so technically is still in college son - don't know how to help him - out of high school for a few years now but his aspberger's and colitis make finding a job he can keep virtually impossible - found a program that was supposed to help kids like him handle and get through college but they want $43,000 a year in addition to the cost of education - WTF!! bottom line - can't leave yet because they would have no place to go and i would not be able to keep the house after a divorce - and my son would have to stay with me and lately we've been making each other crazy divorce will be another failure on my part - but i'm kind of getting used to that all i feel now is either numbness or pain think i deserve it
No hun you don't deserve it You are doing your best hun to stay here for them all and you are fighting the sadness I wish you could find help for you so you do not have to feel so low hun hugs
