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Annoyed with myself

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Petal, Mar 14, 2014.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I am 25 years old and broken up with my boyfriend 6 months ago,since then no-one has showed any interest in me and I think I know why. I have an attractive face and hair but I have gained loads of weight (I never get embarrassed but I am now to say what weight I have put on extremely fast). I don't eat much I just drink a ton of fizzy drinks. I really want a boyfriend who respects,loves and treats me well but I don't know how to go about doing it? Help?
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I don't know a lot about this sort of thing, but it would seem to me that becoming distressed over the gain in weight might just make matters worse. In other words, if when you drink these beverages--& you're trying hard not to, & then you go & do it anyway... It's pretty easy to beat yourself up or get down and then punish yourself mentally, which somewhat simply feeds the cycle.

    I don't know?

    If that's not the issue then never mind. Maybe you were just doing it as a coping mechanism per you last boyfriend. But in any case, it doesn't really matter why, are there any other drinks you've tried that you like enough to perhaps substitute for the fizzy ones? I like Vitamin Water & G-2 (gatorade).

    Regardless, you've got a great way about you--a spectacular presence-so I don't think it'll be long before you're back in the dating game! Good luck. :-D

    p.s.) I think that if you drink a great volume of liquids, that is one way to expand your stomach, because I've heard it's one of the things that competitive eaters do to train.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thanks so much for your reply :) Yeah...what you said first was correct, I try hard not to drink things like coke and lucozade but its extremely hard, then when i give in, i feel terrible and mad at myself. You said you don't know a lot about this sort of thing but it certainly sounds like you actually do..thanks for the compliments too. In your p.s ...do you mean drink lots and lots of water so theres no room for fizzy drinks? 'cos that's actually a good idea! Thanks.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I too was addicted really to all those fuzzy drinks now only drink water with a bit of cranberry juice in it as i hate water blah but if you can replace those drinks with water i think you will see the weight will gradually come down I do think you have a wonderful personality and anyone would be so lucky to have you in their lives hun just keep getting out there meeting people in different settings ok hugs
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    can't give up my soda but changes in my metabolism forced me to shift to either diet soda or water

    may take some getting used to because diet soda does taste different but i now find regular soda far too sweet

    and if one doesn't taste quite right, try others, even in the same brand - both coke and pepsi have different diet colas with different tastes

    i also keep a supply of flavored "water enhancers" at my desk - like mio or crystal light - explore some flavors you can't get in a soda - went the water-only route for a while but got to the point i was bored with the lack of variety until these new things came out
  6. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I can't take the credit for that thought process: my friend's Mom was a nurse who worked with people who struggled with food. And one day I overheard her discussing how she likes to talk to them. She'd bake them cookies! Tell them it's okay to go to McDonald's & grab an ice cream cone...simple stuff like that. But the big thing was to not give so much power to the self-destructive psychology (I gather). :^)

    I was referring to those guys who line up at the hot dog eating contests & whatnot at Nathan's! ;^D I can't remember exactly what it was they said they drank--something like milk or water or perhaps juice (I know it wasn't pop)--but I thought that the reason they did this was to grow their stomachs insofar as to be able to consume vast quantities of calories in short periods of time. So, I think I was just trying to say be careful if you think you might be going overboard. Interestingly enough, one of my friends used to substitute say a gallon of water for a sandwich at lunch. Well then she became hyponatremic and ended up hospitalized. But I think you've really got to overdo it in order to wind up like that. In any event, your idea based off my idea sounds great!

    And the compliments were easy to come by - effortless in fact - all because it was you who first introduced herself as my friend on here (I don't forget that sort of thing nor do I take it lightly; for it was a kind gesture that came out of nowhere). :^D

    PS-I believe I once heard Rachel McAdams say, in response to a question as to how she keeps in such great shape, that she simply walks everywhere (I don't know if she was living in Toronto at the time)...just a thought as an alternative if you don't like me love hitting the gym (but I don't mind going for a stroll every now & then).
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2014
  7. Cat of Spades

    Cat of Spades Well-Known Member

    You shouldn't try to "find" a boyfriend, you should just live your life to the fullest, that is the best course of action that will lead you down the road of happiness and away from depression.

    But I sense that is not what you want to hear... I am a man and I know many men that are extremely intelligent, affectionate and treat women like queens. These men have no luck with women whatsoever because women are not searching for a successful man that treats them kindly. These men are lawyers, doctors, engineers and whatnot. For short; they are nerds. If you truly want to find a man that fits your criteria I recommend you visit nerd-gathering areas like Comic Conventions, Video Gaming Events and other such social events. This is where you will find A+ boyfriend material... but you will not find thrilling men that stay out till late night, that drink, do drugs or have women at their fingertips, these are the button-down types that follow the rules, early to rise and early to bed men. These are the men that the overwhelming majority of women describe when they say "This is what a perfect man should be like" (Hard working, honest, affectionate, steady job, not a drunk, not unfaithful, not violent, etc.). If you truly want a man like you describe, don't look for them in bars, clubs, parties, raves or anything remotely resembling that... look for them in nerd-circles, there are many, MANY men that would make great husband material.

    I hope my advice was useful to you.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Started this thread more than 2 months ago, I still feel the same, I'm isolating myself, how am I ever going to find a boyfriend doing that? Well, isolating myself to my bedroom in the evening, volunteering during the day and going into the city alone just to get out of the house.In response to my initial post I have lost a bit of weight...slowly getting there. There was one guy who showed interest in me , he even said he would break up with his current girlfriend for me. But something just seems off about him so I said no. I'm not picky, he was just a bit creepy. I had a dream that I was in bed with a really nice guy hugging him and woke up feeling so disappointed ... maybe it will happen, maybe it wont..time will tell.