Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lurktheshadows, Jan 26, 2011.

  1. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    I'm fucking sick
    of everything

    my dog died the other day, and I can't stop crying about it
    and then today
    I got into a huge screaming match with my mother
    and it wouldn't fucking stop

    so I accidentally made a jagged hole in the wall while trying to break this glass thing so I could hurt myself
    so I accidentalytold my mom I was going to kill myself and she said "go ahead"
    so I had an adrenaline rush that wouldn't stop and I couldn't breathe
    so I stayed up all night and said awful things to someone I love

    then I exercised too much to get rid of my frustration and I hurt my leg
    then I decided
    I'd rather die
    then stay here

    then I realized everyone is fucking screwed up and pitiful including me
    and I don't

    I am so hideous people leer at me with revolted stares
    I am so moronic my own mothers thinks I'm an idiot
    I am so insecure I can't even leave my house

    I'm fucking sick of everyone
    I wish i could contract a terminal illness and go die on alone in a cave somewhere...I need the physical pain
    I'm already a recluse, I'm halfway there

    everybody FUCK OFF
  2. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    I wont fuck off, you are too nice for that. hugs.
  3. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    that's the fucking problem
    I'm TOO nice
    I'm just going to be a fucking bitch forever
    maybe then I'll be able to protect myself from this bullshit
  4. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Thats not possible, beauty comes from within, and you have tons
  5. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    you don't know me

    and if that's not fucking possible then I may as well kill myself because I can't handle this anymore
  6. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    Lucy :hug:

    Right now your trying to push us away, but i'm sorry thats not gonna work with me and I hope it doesn't work with all of your friends here. Depression does shit to our mind, makes us want to isolate, makes us do whatever to get that isolation. But here, a quote springs to mind; “Don't run when I push you away. That's when I need you the most and want you to stay.”

    You are struggling right now, I get that and If I could I would take all your pain away, but unfortunately I'm not some miracle worker, nobody is.

    People here care about you whether you like it or not. You are nice, and I dont believe someone like you could suddenly be a bitch 24/7.

    Do you have a therapist or anyone that you could contact? Yeah they're not miracle workers either, but they have ways of being able to help.

  7. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry
    thank you

    no, I don't have all, I can contact
    I don't know what to do anymore

    I really fucking despise myself, I'm sorry
  8. MadeOfGlass

    MadeOfGlass Well-Known Member

    Aww aunty.
    I don't really know what to say.
    Sorry you're hurting so much right now.
    :hug: I :wub: you though.