Anorexia update

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When i was 15 years old I would starve myself for long periods of time or i would eat just a few bits of snacks a day. I was put on a lot of medication and most of them included weight gain which was fine by my doctors because i was very thin, according to them.

This medication made me gain a lot of weight, meaning about 70 pounds overall, this didn't help my feeling of being overweight and fat. So over the past year i've gotten off the medications, and gone back to not having to worry about eating because i don't really get hungry anymore.

I feel so fat, all the time, even if i know i'm not *that* fat. I envy models that are stick skinny and strive to be like them so that i can feel beautiful.

I've lost a lot of weight increasingly over the past few months.

When i went to the doctor about my shoulder (strained and sprained rotary cuff) he weighed me and told me that i was very thin and questioned me on my anorexic tendencies again.

He said he'd see me again in two months and if it didn't approve he'd have no choice but to baker-act (hospitalize) me again.

I don't want to be hospitalized, but i'm not hungry, and when i try to eat i become physically sickened by the food, if i manage to eat anything at all-it's the smallest amount and i get as full as someone who had just pigged out on a huge feast.

I don't know if i want help, or if i want to just metaphorically run away.

I don't know if i'd even be able to accept help-i feel like i wouldn't even deserve it.

I probably sound extraordinarily whiny right now, but i hadn't told anyone and i thought it might help just to tell someone.

So i guess in that respect i did want help. I'm not sure.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi hun i am glad you are able to look at your eating habits hun and see that you do need some help hun.
I hope you let your doctor help you okay get on some medication that will help you eat so you body has food so it can fuction your brain cannot work properly without nourishment hugs to you
Hi Entity,

I would suggest that you try to force yourself to eat a little at a time though out the day, then after a week, increase the amount of food a bit, again in another week and so on. This way you can get into a normal eating cycle without getting "fat" and you can include an exercise program to help tone your body and give yourself a sexy athletic appearance.
I also suggest taking One a Day vitamins, these will at least give you the nutrients you aren't getting from food to keep you reasonably healthy. If you can't take the giant hard to swallow vitamins try chewing one Flintstones vite in the morning and one in the evening, and take an extra calcium supplement.

When you see your doctor again ask him about referring you to a nutritionist, rather than putting you in a hospital to get you on drugs which will cause you to become overweight. Being overweight is as unhealthy as being underweight. Also you may want a referral to psychiatrist, who can help you overcome these body issues so you can get healthy and be happy in your own skin.

Anorexia is a hard fight, but if you don't fight it you may starve to death and no one wants that to happen to you. I wish you all the best and hope I have given some helpful advice, you are in my thoughts <3
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