Another awful night

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by einahpets08, Mar 10, 2008.

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  1. einahpets08

    einahpets08 Member

    Had a huge fight with the SO tonight, on top of already feeling awful. I know what he was saying was put wrong, but he essentially compared me to what a girlfriend should do ('make you feel good about yourself and bring joy into your life') and then showed me how my talking to him about suicidal thoughts made him miserable and that he couldn't handle it. I feel like my support system has taken a huge knock, because before he told me I could call any time day or night and talk to him, and now he's saying he can't take it. It's also really hurt me to hear that I'm not matching up to what a girlfriend should be; it's made me fairly angry too, because I had a lot of patience when he went with a similar thing and now feel very undermined. I'm not sure what to do, and all I want to do is permanently shut it all off. I've promised not to, so I've got to stay, but the feelings are so painful. On top of the pressure of exams, family worries, other personal issues and general stress, I now apparently have some huge problems with my relationship. That alone wouldn't hurt me too much, and normally I'd be quite happy to tell him that if I'm not being a suitable girlfriend maybe this relationship is a bad idea, but it's really the final straw tonight.
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    wow, sorry to hear about yr relationship difficulties.
    in fairness, it can be v. hard to be the partner of someone feeling so suicidal, or so i've been told! the fear, the helplessness, the not being able to fix it can be frustrating to them. what has helped me is to have other supports, to not rely only on one person. i just need my partner to be my cheerleader, to care and love me. i need a psych, therapist and support groups, and the suicide hotline for the intense stuff. do you have other supports?

    catherine
     
  3. einahpets08

    einahpets08 Member

    I agree, since he went through the same thing, and so I understand where he's coming from. We sorted things out today. The thing is, the manner he said it was really hurtful, and went from being an explanation of how he feels to what felt to me like telling me I was a bad girlfriend. I'm a bit stuck, because he's not in a great place right now either. I'm after other support at the moment, though.
     
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