Hi Guys. First off, I am not a suicidal type person. But truly I am at the end of my rope. (funny old saying in itself!) A bit of history first, I am gay lad living in england, suffering from Aspergers (autism) I own my own business which is a little village shop have (had) and ok life was bought up by loving parents, I have no real history of depression or anything like that, I keep myself busy and on the whole had an OK life. However even though I am young I suffered a mini stroke some months ago and am now partially sighted in one eye... First of all because of the aspergers I don't have any friends, not one Lots of people I know but no one I could ring up and say help I'm having this problem, this has always been a trait of mine because I find social situations incredibly difficult. Today I found out my other half of 13 years has cheated on me, to put it mildly I am totally and utterly devastated. Things haven't been great for a while and I've been increasingly thinking of just ending it all today was the first day I actually felt like carrying it out and that scared me. One thing I have always prided myself on was if I am going to do something I do it and I do it properly. So I knew if I was going to carry it out it would not be public and I would ensure no one found me until it was completed. I googled how to kill yourself and up popped samaritans, I am not very good on the phone because of this Aspergers problem so wouldn't really know what to say to them to get across how I am feeling right now. I know you guys hear all this a lot and please don't take it that I am seeking attention I am not I just wondered if some of you have ways of dealing with this without speaking to anyone as I would simply find that too difficult. I am truly fed up with life, I do feel there is no way out, the person that I utterly love more than anything in the whole wide world has hurt me so much I just don't feel I can contain these feelings, I feel so hurt and betrayed and now so utterly sad. I can't even describe what I feel as it's so painful, to make matters worse today I have toothache which is laughable when you think I am thinking of ending it all but I can't even think straight. I really do want help to deal with this threat my mind is making against my body but don't know where to turn. I sat here <Mod Edit: Methods> My life feels it is at it's end I don't feel I can offer the world much more, my realationship is over and I have no one to turn to. I am alone and frightened. Can anyone help me. Chris.