Another boring thread about someone wanting to end it all.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aufo8mycow, Sep 11, 2014.

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  1. Aufo8mycow

    Aufo8mycow Member

    Hi Guys.
    First off, I am not a suicidal type person. But truly I am at the end of my rope. (funny old saying in itself!)

    A bit of history first, I am gay lad living in england, suffering from Aspergers (autism) I own my own business which is a little village shop have (had) and ok life was bought up by loving parents, I have no real history of depression or anything like that, I keep myself busy and on the whole had an OK life. However even though I am young I suffered a mini stroke some months ago and am now partially sighted in one eye...

    First of all because of the aspergers I don't have any friends, not one Lots of people I know but no one I could ring up and say help I'm having this problem, this has always been a trait of mine because I find social situations incredibly difficult. Today I found out my other half of 13 years has cheated on me, to put it mildly I am totally and utterly devastated. Things haven't been great for a while and I've been increasingly thinking of just ending it all today was the first day I actually felt like carrying it out and that scared me. One thing I have always prided myself on was if I am going to do something I do it and I do it properly. So I knew if I was going to carry it out it would not be public and I would ensure no one found me until it was completed.

    I googled how to kill yourself and up popped samaritans, I am not very good on the phone because of this Aspergers problem so wouldn't really know what to say to them to get across how I am feeling right now.

    I know you guys hear all this a lot and please don't take it that I am seeking attention I am not I just wondered if some of you have ways of dealing with this without speaking to anyone as I would simply find that too difficult.

    I am truly fed up with life, I do feel there is no way out, the person that I utterly love more than anything in the whole wide world has hurt me so much I just don't feel I can contain these feelings, I feel so hurt and betrayed and now so utterly sad. I can't even describe what I feel as it's so painful, to make matters worse today I have toothache which is laughable when you think I am thinking of ending it all but I can't even think straight.

    I really do want help to deal with this threat my mind is making against my body but don't know where to turn. I sat here <Mod Edit: Methods>

    My life feels it is at it's end I don't feel I can offer the world much more, my realationship is over and I have no one to turn to. I am alone and frightened.

    Can anyone help me.

    Chris.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 11, 2014
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    samaritans also did e- mails and chats i think last i checked.
    or one of these online help groups/lines def did.

    how is business going?
    did other half cheat once or more?

    also what is your nearest city?
    how do you feel about spending more time with the people you don't feel like you can ask for help but are on ok terms with?
     
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Yes, you can email the Samaritans if you feel like you are not able to talk on the phone. It takes them a couple of hours to reply but their replies tend to be very helpful and it's just nice to know that somebody somewhere is listening to you.

    How you move on with this is entirely your decision. Is there no salvaging this relationship?
     
  4. Aufo8mycow

    Aufo8mycow Member

    Thank you guys, I didn't see that on their website but will go back and have a look. Business is good but don't earn a lot from it so money is always tight. MY nearest city is Exeter. As for spending more time with people, I don't have anyone to spend time with as I have always found it difficult to make friends and I don't think there is away of salvaging the relationship. :(
     
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