Another break down and more end?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bguthery, Aug 3, 2012.

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  1. bguthery

    bguthery Member

    Another break down about my ex... this month I was going to propose to her and no i just want to end it all. Tried to talk to dad, he told me to move on and stop it and my mom just started cutting me off talking about how my dad left and this is how she felt.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Breaks up are so hard on the one that still loves and talking about it is the best thing.
    Sounds like neither parent can deal and just want you to bury it.... DON'T!
    If you need to talk, then talk here, or in a private pm; my box is always open.

    oh and :welcome:
  3. bguthery

    bguthery Member

    I don't know how to pm.. sorry im new
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    If you click on your name it should take you to your visitor message page.
    On the left hand will be your name, status and avatar/pic and under that is "send a private message" click that and type away :smile:
  5. bguthery

    bguthery Member

    I cant I do not have the right to
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I hope that you can work things out with her. Love hurts. :hug:
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Well when you do, my pm box is open if you need an ear
  8. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Bguthery, sometimes when we tell people our problems, they don't realize that we just want to be heard....that we really just need to let it all out. Those people, like your mother in this situation, will then start telling their own experiences, probably to let you know that you aren't alone, and to tell you how they got through it, and etc.... But really it feels like they aren't listening, because now they are making it about themselves, and about how they handled it.

    Obviously it's different for you, even if she felt the same... she's not feeling it now...YOU are. But, their reaction is kind of normal, they probably really meant to encourage you to keep your chin up, and that you could do better, or that there is more life waiting for you etc...

    It came out wrong on their end. I don't think that you should give up on talking about it with them though, but perhaps before you express yourself in the future to your parents, just let them know that you need them to listen, need to be heard...that right now in your healing stage, suggestions and advice are not a good place to be at yet for you. They are capable of hearing you out, and being there... but they just need to be told that it's really what you need right now.

    The breakdowns, I imagine are over what "could have been". All those crushed dreams. Now everything that was supposed to be so different, is so sad, and so disappointing. Trying to figure out where to go from here, and what to so hard, because everything you "would" have done normally, is tied into the idea of your ex and what kind of life you were planning. Now you are being asked to re-plan the same life, sort of, but without another person involved anymore.

    It's sad at best, and crushing to say the least. I'm not sure if your parents realize that perhaps one of the reasons you are having such a difficult time moving on, is that fact. The fact that you tailored your dreams and expectations, and your life fit another person into it... now that person is removed from the equation. It will take you time, and a whole lot of other things, before you can be normal with some things again, or comfortable with certain circumstances again.

    Since your parents are not in that kind of situation right now, it's probably something they have forgotten about the realities of, but it's not something they are absolutely unaware of either.

    I hope that you can get the support you are looking for, somewhere... because this certainly is a hard time for anyone who goes through it. The grieving process is harsh.
    :Hug: for you.
  9. bguthery

    bguthery Member

    She goes on about how I made him leave and she does love me.. she hits me and she has even poured beer mixed with jalapeno sauce into my eyes(she forced my eyes open and poored it into them) I just feel alone and.. we can work it out I gave her everything, EVERYTHING. Love, my time,gifts, anything and everything and she just crushed it and lies to me whenever we do talk.
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