i just purged my food not too long ago. i wouln't neccessarally call myself bulemic, but this definatly wasn't the first time that i've done this. i did it quite a bit last year, but never frequently enough to actually be considered bulimic. i've always thought of myself as fat, but it never really affected me unless i would get really depressed. there are days when i am just so disguisted with myself and the way i look, that i will end up starving myself for a couple of days or purge eveything that i eat. today i purged because i found out that my boyfriend is an asshole. i saw the emails he sent one of my friends, telling her that he liked her and wanted to have sex with her, and wanted to dump me for her, and he thinks she's really hot. i ended up crying shortly afterwards. he made me feel so as though i wasn't good enough, and would never be good enough, unless of course i looked more like my friend, who i know is slightly thinner then me. i love my boyfriend so much, but i just don't know about him anymore. sometimes i think i should just dump him, but i can't. it hurts so much to love him sometimes! today i just felt like hating him. my self esteem was already low to begin with, and then he had to go and lower it so much more, that i don't even want to eat anymore, ever again. i just hate myself so much right now, for not being perfect, cuz maybe then my bf would love me. is it foolish of me to think like that?