Another Christmas Alone - Yippee

Discussion in 'Let it all out...' started by LetItGo, Dec 24, 2006.

  1. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    People that work in mental health services will tell you that this is the worse time of year for them, and also the busiest, as lonely losers like myself are reminded more than ever of how pathetic there existance actually is.

    Im set to spend yet another christmas alone...ya i could go visit my old man and pretend its all roses, but i couldnt be fucked lieing...yet again. and trying to explain...yet again, why im alone.

    The only thing that gives me any solice at all is knowing that i wont have to face another one if things dont improve. Theres no possible way ill see out another year of this.. no way on earth. The sadness I feel seems to be more consistant then ever, taking up most of my days now. With each passing day that decision gets closer, and im losing the strength to keep putting it off to be honest.

    It will be a rather abrupt and inconsequential end to an inconsequential life, fitting really. I wont be telling anyone either...I dont want to burden you all...itll just be done...finished.

    I fucking hate christmas too be honest....i really wish it would disappear up its own backside, its the one time of year that I cant go on pretending anymore...im just not delusional enough.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Not sure how I'm gonna do it, but this sad mug is going to smile, laugh and be life and soul of at least Christmas day.
    Because if I don't parents and son will be miserable.

    Can't even begin to say how hard I'm finding the whole thing and we've got another 2 days of this to get thru. Then of course we have the bloody New Year. I have always found the new year difficult, this one is going to be the pits.

    So don't be thinking you're alone Matt, I can bet that there are loads of us all struggling to get thru the holiday season and loads of us will be on here posting after the festivities feeling like cutting our throats.

    Lets just muddle thru as best we can. Be here for each other and hope for better times.

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :santa:
     
  3. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    I hope that both of your Christmas' go as smoothly as possible..

    Last night we had a party at my house, and my mum seemed to enjoy pointing out, over and over again, to her friends that i'm 28 and still single. She tried pairing me up with one guy who was there.. and she later told me that i am boring!

    Today I'm off to spend Christmas with my dad, where no doubt the topic will come up again that i'm single (and getting old). I guess it's more of an issue for my parents than for me.. but it's just the time of year when their comments cut to the bone.

    I see the advantages of being alone at Christmas, if the other alternative is to put on a fake smile and put up with sarcastic comments.. but i had the choice of being with my mum and her new partner or being with my dad and his partner.. i'm wishing i could be invisible for the day!

    Hope your Christmas goes ok.. and i certainly hope that things do improve for you so that you see the year through to next Christmas

    :arms: :grouphug:
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Don't ya just love parents Jen !!!!!! If they can make bad worse u can bet they will be first in the queue. :laugh:
     
  5. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hell, I'm 55 and single (once again) and don't give a shit - am actually more content all by myself... now if I could just get the kids to cooperate... It's very rude of your mum to point out that personal fact to guests, or anyone, for that matter, but as the old saying goes: "you can pick your friends but not your relatives."

    I'd rather spend Christmas by myself but mom would throw a fit and cry so I'll just paste on a fake smile and go thru the day like a robot. I don't like anything about Christmas anymore but will have to pretend and pretend, so as not to upset mom, who takes everything personally.

    *sigh*
     
  6. I'm 24 years old, alone, and dying. Well, perhaps I'll get my Christmas wish this year, which you pretty much all know what that is.
     
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    hun, remember what me and you have talked about, how our little group has to stick together otherwise that domino effect will happen. its true hun that's why we all HAVE to stick it out together, we can't the others slip, u allways seem to be the strong one but let us be there for u okay? I care about u a lot and so do many others. me and you don't want that domino effect to happen, that's why I've decided that the date I set isn't gonna happen, ima avoid all triggers leading up to that date including sf, I'm doing that because I don't wanna hurt any of you.

    you can be strong hun, we all can, we just gotta stick together. I truly hope that this won't be your last christmas, your one in a million and I care about you so much. this time of the year sucks but we can get thru it :hug:

    allways here for you x

    viks

    :cheekkiss
     
  8. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Thank you everyone :hug: I really dont deserve the support you guys give me. Theres one thing about Christmas that I like...it ends..and fortunately I type this 7.30 pm boxing day so the whole Christmas b.s is just about over for me...

    Nothing changes though, never has, never will, but at least now I can go back to a relatively comfortable level of denial, and fool myself into thinking that there may be some hope one day...

    I dont know which i hate more, Christmas or living at the ass end of the world...I think its the later...its far more permanent.

    I can feel skype part 2 coming on pretty soon...its starting to build again for me, and there doesnt seem much i can do about it. Not sure i can handle that sort of emotion again.

    I really appreciate the support you guys give me, but I sometimes feel it takes away from others who really deserve it and need it. Im just a lonely, lazy, looser....if you knew me in r/l, im sure you would consider me far to mundain and boring to be involved with...which is in fact the straight up truth.

    Sorry to harp on the negativities, but im calling a spade a spade...

    Thx though everyone

    :hug:
     
  9. blub

    blub Guest

    ah fuck you matt
    if you like it or not
    I wont stop supporting you
    you cant get rid of me
    you deserve support
    you need support
    you deserve fucking everything
    at least all the good things in life