Another day, Another deep breath

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Jess, Nov 15, 2006.

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  1. Jess

    Jess Guest

    This time of year sucks for me. I dont know who or if anyone here really has an idea why.... Four years ago this month was when everything came crashing down. My mom threw my dad out, out of my life for far longer than I was ready for..

    Everytime I think about this I start off getting overwhelmed and get the feeling that everythings caving in again, all the things I've rebuilt or things that are new and good in my life. I guess it's partially because well, it happened once, why not again? Maybe I deserve it.. everything does happen for a reason after all. I was a big reason for the dysfunction in our family. My mom tried to comit suicide.. and blamed me. I can understand why its my fault. That caused even more problems between me and my mother (when she came back home) and my father. and finally it was over.

    years later, my mom is gone, I live alone with my dad. My brothers gone as well. And I'm left with trying to make sense of those years.. and those events.


    Everyday, another struggle, take another deep breath and pray I can make it through the day, make it through today.. reassuring myself I'm not going to lose what I have now.. I'm better off...
    try to believe it. But I just.. can't sometimes, ya know? :unsure:
  2. alwaysalone

    alwaysalone Active Member

    you know, jess, when you've been through events such as the ones you've experienced, the silver lining is knowing that you are actually a very strong person.

    you've made it so far, and those deep breaths must be working! i find your emotional fortitude really admirable and you're very inspirational to everyone who has trouble going on!

    hang in there!! take care!

  3. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    I don't believe YOU were to blame for other adults making their own decisions. That is not another persons fault. I hope you can let yourself off the hook for that. YOU do not need to believe you deserve bad in life, cuz you don't. We all deserve good things. WE deserve smiles and ice cream.

    Like aa- said YOU are very strong for coping and not giving up. That is all we can do, I guess.
    I understand your fear and confusion, uncertainty.

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