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Another Day of Emptyness

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Wolfers

Active Member
#1
I really want to cry, but I can’t. I don’t know how to. I’ve held it in so long, I can’t let go. I miss the things I shouldn’t. And I wish I could go back. I know it’s bad, but my feelings felt validated then. I shouldn’t be like this, but I don’t know what to change.
 

Ineluki

The Storm King
#2
Hi Wolfers.

A few years ago I found myself in the same situation. At the advice of a good friend, I watched a bunch of sad movies until one of them "sunk in" and got me to me. I hadn't cried since sixth grade before that. I just had crying programmed out of me by my sixth grade teacher, and needed to make contact with it again because not being able to was making me more ill than I already was. Maybe you can figure out who, or what experience, taught you not to cry and find a way to challenge that idea. Give that idea the middle finger and allow yourself some tears.
 

Wolfers

Active Member
#3
Hi Wolfers.

A few years ago I found myself in the same situation. At the advice of a good friend, I watched a bunch of sad movies until one of them "sunk in" and got me to me. I hadn't cried since sixth grade before that. I just had crying programmed out of me by my sixth grade teacher, and needed to make contact with it again because not being able to was making me more ill than I already was. Maybe you can figure out who, or what experience, taught you not to cry and find a way to challenge that idea. Give that idea the middle finger and allow yourself some tears.
I was always taught, or at least believed, that crying was a weakness so if I cry I am showing a fault, showing I am weak and vulnerable. The only time I had been able to cry during my teen and early adult life was when I was being physically hurt by someone because I could not help it. And all I felt during the pain was weakness. So maybe that just further engrained the thought that crying is a weakness into my mind. I don’t know...
 

Ineluki

The Storm King
#4
I once saw Bob Costas interview the great Robert Duvall, and they talked about crying of all things. Duvall said that when researching a role for one of his movies, he realized that crying being a weakness is a very modern idea, and people used to cry in the past more readily. He listed a few examples, but the one that stuck with me was how some Texas Rangers once pursued and killed an outlaw that they knew personally, and they all openly wept after the encounter. The Texas Rangers are not weak by anyone's standards!
 
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