Another Dip

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by *dilligaf*, Feb 23, 2008.

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  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Okay so I've noticed that my moods seem to go in dips. I can cope with it for a certain amount of time and then all of a sudden something hits me and I don't know what to do anymore. Well I've hit that point again. The point where I feel like I can't handle anything and start looking for a way out. The point that sees me taking pills or cutting or something.

    I can't stop thinking about Nan. Everything reminds me of her. And I am missing her like crazy. I can't concentrate on anything else, and everytime it gors quiet my head goes back to thoughts about her. I don't want to carry on without her. I want her back so much.

    I am sitting here with my girlfriend's 10year old brother, wanting to cry. She's in the kitchen and as far as I know doesn't know how I feel. I could go and tell her, but it seems like too much trouble trying to put all this into words. I am struggling enough to make it make sense on here and on MSN.

    There's so many other things I could sit here and talk about. How broke I am. The fights with my girlfriend. Leaving my Nan's grave. Family problems. Feeling paranoid. My appearance. Blahblahblah. What's the point.

    I was thinking about how I could do it. Not got enough pills in (the only ones I have are the ones I was sick with last time and I wont use them again...EVER) Sitting here looking for another way out. I want to cut but got in loads of trouble last time. Was thinking about cutting and not telling her but she'll find out, I can never lie to her. I don't wanna see that look on her face again. Thought about sleeping it off but I'm not tired yet. Can't concentrate on a book. Had a lond hot bath earlier and it didn't help.

    I don't know what to do. I don't want to feel like this.
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Please don't cut.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    -deleted, don't worry about it-
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 23, 2008
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    sorry im just a failure who takes her shit out on everyone, wont do that anymore
  5. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni


    no one can even be bothered with my ry for help

    ahh well., one more night of shit

    before i can be happy

    shudnt be that hard
  6. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I was gonna answer you in chat but you'd gone
    just to say I am: thinking about you hun
    stay safe
    love sharon
  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thanks hun,
    I think someone has just managed to save me. :hug: u know who u are.
    Shazzer, stay safe. And on a side note, I love your avatar :biggrin:
  8. Surviving

    Surviving Well-Known Member

    Sam, sorry I am coming in on the back side. I hope you are feeling better now... PM if you wanna chat, or drop me an e-mail any time...
  9. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    I'm just dropping by to give Sam a hug :hug:
  10. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    hope your feeling a bit better now
    thinking of you
    love sharon:hug:
  11. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thanks everyone :hug:

    Im here so I guess Im okay :huh: :unsure: :blink:
  12. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    I'm glad you're alright. :hug:

    Please don't hurt yourself, though. :(
  13. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thank Abacus for keeping me safe last night and making me see sense :hug: :smile:
  14. Joshuwah

    Joshuwah Well-Known Member

    You've had my hugs ^,^ :tongue:
  15. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Lots of them :laugh:

    Thanks hun x
  16. Slinkybinky

    Slinkybinky Active Member

    hey hun

    Take care and stay safe

    Love you

  17. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Im trying hun,

    love u xoxo
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