another fail

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tierd, May 9, 2009.

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  1. tierd

    tierd Member

    So.. here i am, still. in hospital clothes.. got picked up in the river after i jumped from a bridge last night.. again. (my second time) i was standing with my back towards the river and just fell backwards, amazing feeling, till i wake up with cops. ambulances. people all over.. For about 10 years i been having severe depressions comming and going.. suicidle thougts is something im having constant, but after a fail attempt in public? it doesnt help.....
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. What's got you feeling so bad?
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Tierd,

    welcome to sf!

    I'm glad your attempt failed! I hope now you'll get the help you need.
    What caused you to do this? Talk to us,we're here for you :arms:
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Can you tell us what has triggered you?? You know being here that you will get support..Being in the hospital is very beneficial to getting you back on a positive path..
  5. tierd

    tierd Member

    what triggerd it.. its not one single episode.. its something that been build up from when i was very young.. alcohol, violence drugs to say a few... i have my ups and downs, but the last 2 years been extra tough... abuot four years ago i was pretty much as fucked as i am now. but something amazing happend, some guy picked me up, gave me a job. helped me with all my debts, helped me get a driverslicence and even a car, nice appartment.. leading me into getting a awsome job with good pays.. for those 2 years there i was living life.. met many new friends. Even the girl i was in love with moved in with me.. its wierd tho. even then when i had it all. that voice in my head ( i wanna die) never left me. but then it was like i could just smile it away...
    Then offcourse i had to ruin it all, again.. A night at town ended up with my girl and me arguing about some stuff,, i dont even remember what... So.. smart me jumped in my car to get away before the arguing went further,,, as drunk as i was. i smashed my car in some roadblock.. lost my driverslicence for 4 years. crashed car. cause of that i lost my job, girl moved out that day.. 2600 euros in ticket.. 60 days in jail... took me 10 minutes to ruin all i had buildt up the last 2 years...

    since then i have grown into the zombie i used to be again i guess.. the anxiety for even leaving my appartment is back.. the constant urge to end it all is something that just wont go away.. havent even payed rent for the last 5 months so i expect to be kicked to the streets anytime now..
    And my little stunt thursday just made it 10 times worse.. Here i am now with a sore body from the fall, lost my vallet with all my money for this month.. i got this panic thingy at the hospital so talked em into driving me home that night if i promised to answer the phone the next day about some help.. thing is a mobilphone dont work very well after it been on the bottom of a river :\ .. Im stuck and broken
  6. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    how are you pysically? what injuries have you got? that sort of thing scares me, because I wouldn't want to end up a quadraplegic.
  7. tierd

    tierd Member

    sore back, some cuts and bruises, maby from when htey pulled me up.. and all muscles hurt,, its so wierd. i was so relaxed when i fell backwards, like releaf.. then i think i passed out a few secs when i hit the water.. but then i woke up under water. that was fucking scary. panicmode. and i just tried to swiim all i could.. was hard in a river with hard stream, big leather jacket and armyboots.. then i think i got blackout again cause i just remember waking up in the ambulance with lights all over and people nagging ugh..
  8. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    My deduction is this...


    All you've said is true and I'm just a bitch...

    Scratch that...I am a bitch :)
    Last edited by a moderator: May 12, 2009
  9. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    and thats why I luv ya kel :biggrin:
  10. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Serenity is kind of right. I'm not sure about all this but all I have to say is that you should not be feeling like this. If you ever need to talk I am here for you.

    I know I'm a hypocrite, I feel like shit too.
  11. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Or just an inattentive reader.

    The second post specifies that it happened Thursday and that they are now home.

    Plus I don't see why one would lie about such a thing.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 12, 2009
  12. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Then he's changing his story b/c if you read his first post it clearly states he's still in hospital. Also bcs if he tried to commit suicide and woke up surrounded by police and paramedics they would not just let him out the next day. I'm sorry but none of it makes sense. When he signed up for the site he was still in the hospital if I'm correct. Look at the post date and the day he signed up. I'm sorry but when I sense bullshit I am going to call people out on it.

    As for why would anyone lie about something like that??? For attention. People do it daily on this forum and in real life. It's second nature for some and it's fun for others. The world is built on lies and such but I won't go into that because I just woke up.

  13. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    How are you feeling now Tierd? :arms:

    Am here if you need to talk :)
  14. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    go back and read the first post again, he/she states that they're in hospital clothes at the time of the post. Last time I checked, hospitals don't let ya wear those clothes home, nor do they allow ya intenet access
  15. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    A-freakin'-men. :dry:
  16. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I had internet access when I was in hospital.

    and loads of people attempt suicide and are let out the next day. How many ODs are let out the next day? People are assessed on their mental health, rather than nature of suicide attempt and it's pure chance that someone gets admitted sometimes- it does depend on the individuals assessing.

    and about hospital clothes? I doubt hospitals are wrenching gowns away from patients if and when they want to leave because they are usually discarded.


    teird I hope you get your life back on track, I hear the pain that you were in before you fell into the river, and hope you won't feel the need to do this again...:hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2009
  17. acalthu

    acalthu Member

    But who in their right mind would want to leave the hospital wearing a paper/plastic hospital gown?
  18. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    the OP sounds distressed, wouldn't you say?

    it might seem impossible but some people do go out wearing hospital gowns, pyjamas, especially if their clothes might have been too wet to wear etc. he also said that he was driven home.

    what does this matter anyway? the OP has come here in distress. shouldn't supporting him be of more importance (the person is obviously fragile looking at his later posts) than what he was wearing?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2009
  19. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    It does matter. I take lying on a suicide forum seriously. I think that if people are lying it's basically stealing from people that deserve and need support. On the other hand who cares right? Who cares if they are lying straight to your face. Who gives a flying fuck if he's blatantly lying? Clearly he's distressed. Clearly he needs help. Lying is a serious mental illness. Especially lying about something so harsh. And besides he didn't OD he threw himself off a bridge. His injuries would probably be more severe then here's some charcoal to gag on. Mmm?

    I'm sorry but I will believe he's a liar until I have some solid hard ass a fuckin' rock proof otherwise. He must be really fragile since he hasn't defended himself since the first posts.

    Sheesh sorry for rubbing your fragile bone the wrong way. I have to remember in my mind that wayyyyy too many people have a stick shoved up their ass and can't see hard cold truths right in front of their face. They'd rather shove sunshine and bullshit up others asses instead. My bad.
  20. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? STEALING WHAT??? Hasn't defended himself?? OR maybe he thinks no matter WHAT he says, BITTER and sarcastic people won't believe him. OR maybe he was so distressed, especially after being called a LIAR, maybe he attempted again and succeeded!

    As for not having internet access... guess that all depends on WHERE you are. When I was in the ER last week for my chest pains... the woman in the next bed was brought in for attempting OD... and she had her PHONE with her the WHOLE time... her INTERNET capable phone, and she was USING it! Also, a few years ago, I knew someone that was hospitalized for an attempt... and he HAD his laptop the WHOLE time and was allowed to use it. So just saying he has internet access, he must be lying... thats RUDE and BULLSHIT!

    THESE are the types of posts I find OFFENSIVE... and people who post it should be put under moderation by MODS! Since you have NO way to PROVE anyone is lying, and NOBODY should have to try to PROVE to YOU or anyone that they are telling the truth! This is SUPPOSED to be a site of SUPPORT... so if YOU don't BELIEVE someone, DON'T POST in that thread... and leave it to people who DO want to offer support and help. Because as far as I am concerned, if we offer words of support... even if they were lying, then our posts of SUPPORT did NO harm... NOTHING is STOLEN... MANY of us can offer this support OVER and OVER... HOW does it get STOLEN?? BUT posts ACCUSING someone of lying ARE EXTREMELY harmful... not only to the OP... but to any other person CONSIDERING asking for help... but then they are afraid they will be called liars and not believed!! I am SOOOO upset at posts like this!

    WHY AREN'T the MODS doing something about this??? Because this HIGHLY OFFENDS ME! So much for SUPPORT! Instead of support, SOME people on this site are determined to just ACCUSE people of lying when they may very well be in SERIOUS DISTRESS!

    NOBODY should have to DEFEND themselves or PROVE themselves to YOU or ANYONE!

    To Tierd... I hope that you get the help and support you need. Feel free to PM me anytime. I can't really offer much in the way of actual HELP... but I am always happy to LISTEN to anyone who just needs to talk!
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