Another 'Im worthless' post

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 2-D, Jan 24, 2008.

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  1. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    *sigh* Well, I spose its best to start at the point in my life when it plummited - about 7 years ago (late may of 01), i first experianced the loss of a loved one, and from there on in (to this day) I have lost 5 loved ones, all of which have been fairly close family members, and late last year, I fell in love for the first time with a amazin girl, we went out for about a month untill she ditched me, that im not fussed about the fact she ditched me, just how she did it [sort of a 'O By the way' whisper before a lesson (we are both college students)] and that combined was enough to make me take an attempt on my life (I tried ODing - managed to take about 24 paracetamol tablets), but my best mate scared me out of going any further....

    I spose it does not really help matters that for most of my life I have been a loner, the only time people come up to me is for help with this bit of work or that bit of work, or what ever (I am not the most interesting guy around), and so combined with my paranioa, self doubt and just general disliking of myself - I really feel that i dont belong here.

    About a week ago I started to SH - I can understand what some people say about it TBH (both 'pros' and cons) but atm its the only working release for me. And whats more, I cant stand people interefearing with my life like some people have tried to over the past few days, it has become so irritating (my mother is partly included in this last bit), I am 18 Years of age, and so in many respects - I am an independant adult, but she still finds it necessary to meddle in my affiars (or tries to), and so all in all - I feel like shit and just want to put a bullet through my head, I have little to no reason to live, and TBH - the world is better off with out me

    Sorry for the ramble, but there is a lot of stuff going through my mind
  2. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    i know how you feel, everytime i get close to someone they leave me. my family is still here, but i hate them and they hate me, we hardly ever speak. after i found this forum i thought i found love and understanding, but now some of my friends are leaving me here as well i found out. things are so F***ING hard.. so i know what youre going through
  3. Sentient-Blizzard

    Sentient-Blizzard Well-Known Member

    loneliness....eek i kno what u guys are feeling, try to find another girl. Or play games onlines
  4. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I play World of Warcraft :unsure::blink:, I have tried on the 'looking for another girl', but im a shy fella, and i dont believe any one has any genuine interest in me apart from wanting help with this, that and the other (Not meaning to brag, but I am a slightly intelligent person) - and so when ever i try and talk to girls, i clam up and end up talking myself out of it :(
  5. Sentient-Blizzard

    Sentient-Blizzard Well-Known Member

    what about sluts? In college they always have the type of girl that sleeps with like anyone

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    loved lost one; self confidence shattered
    I experienced that and I know how you feel

    However thats definitely not a reason to kill yourself; i mean these issues can be worked on
    as for the losses; im deeply sorry
    I also have lost many meaninful people and even to suicide
    You just have to accept that Death is part of life
  7. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    My confidence has been non existant for a long time before i first lost a loved one, but its not helped, thats for sure.

    My lack of self confidence is not why i want to kill myself, i wish to end it because most of the time, I cant bare being alive - looking around, seeing all the happy people - drives me insane at times, I personally think I have no reason to live, the only people I think my death would effect many people (if any)

    Yeah - I understand death is a part of life (although not the best part) 'Life only has meaning because its meant to end, death is what forces people to live...'

    as to Sentient-Blizzard, Im not that sort of person - I want a relationship where A girl wants me for who i am, not that im some sort of sad, dweeby nerd who would do almost anything to get me leg over :p

    Another thing that gets on my nerves, people say that they are interested in your views and say u have a voice to air your opinions, but they then just ignore you [I dont wish to drive, but my folks dont seem to think im serious, ot just dont care :unsure:] I wish i had a punch bag or some chinese worry balls

    But I am aware of what you say LILICHIPIE, and I thank you for ur kind words :)
  8. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    First of all, I'm behind on abbreviations. What's SH and what's TBH?

    Secondly, I understand what you're going through. My resources are very limited now. Hardly any friends. No family. No social life. The only thing I like to do is sleep. Escape it all. I've never felt good about myself.
  9. D3ath

    D3ath Well-Known Member

    SH - Self Harm
    TBH - To Be Honest
  10. tesseract

    tesseract Well-Known Member

    So you feel shit, and you havent realised the cause yet???
  11. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    Funnily enough - I have not been playing world of warcraft for seven years (beside the point that its only been out for little over 2 years) :mellow: but as I say in my previous post, its just my own self doubt/no confidence and the rest of the whole negitive aspects in my life are driving me downwards, and the only person I can talk to in real life is not really sure on how to help, and I am not too keen on talking to my parents when i can help it *sigh*
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