Another Long Day

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Michael Lee, Sep 9, 2007.

  1. Michael Lee

    Michael Lee Well-Known Member

    Today was a day like any other day. Got up at 5:30. Drank coffee read my Bible walked 3 miles. Got a call while I was getting ready for services. Found out that the mother of a kid I buried 6 years ago was on life support. She and her family are good people. I hope she makes it. She lost her youngest son to liver problems associated with alcoholism (44). I held his hand while he died. I've been sober 17 years 4 months tomorrow-not sure why. Went to church lead the services. Preached a service on mercy and grace - as usual some folks were mad at me. Happens everytime I get in the pulpet. Went to a fund raiser at a nursing home for lunch. I like the folks who live there. They are nice to be around. Went to the hospital. Let my friend and her family know that I loved them. Read Psalm 121 and prayed with them. We caught up with each. Got home late. Cooked and ate my meal. Washed the dishes. Now I am alone .. . Alone with the self I can't stand. I hate being alone. I have missed out on what it means to live. Sometimes I wish I had never stopped drinking. That I had just stayed in a bar. I wish I could write poetry again but my heart is empty. Michael
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am not sad that you quit drinking Michael. What an accomplishment to be sober for more than 17 years. You have an understanding that many cannot have because they have not been there. I am sorry that you feel so empty. I know your heart is not empty as the words you write are at times truly beautiful. Maybe the poetry isn't there in the same sense as it was before, but it is still there. You give so much to others, but you forget to give to yourself as well. Show yourself the same compassion you do to the mother that has lost a child, the woman faced with an abusive relationship, the man faced with losing his soulmate. You have shown such compassion to these people. You deserve the same. At the end of the day you should feel a sense of pride in yourself. You have inspired many human beings throughout the day and you have survived another day yourself. Keep the faith hun. Believe in yourself and find that peace you wish for everyone else. You do not have to walk this road alone. :hug:
  3. Michael Lee

    Michael Lee Well-Known Member

    Thanks dear friend. You are fantastic.
    Love and peace,