Another message to Carol

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ziva, Feb 3, 2011.

  1. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    You have hurt me so much and pushed me to suicide once again. There's not a day that goes by without me thinking of committing suicide, mainly because of you. And it's because of your twisted lies that I'm going to get in big trouble, maybe with a criminal record, while you claim to have witnesses, while I don't since I'm being honest. I know from the past that the judge will take the side of whoever has witnesses, lies or not, because it's a well thought out and well rehearsed "play" you guys put on. All I wanted to know is why you would press charges against me for htting you while in a seizure(which I was not aware of, sice people are NOT aware of their actions usually while in grand mal seizures, and the hospital released me while I was still unconcious and mom was gone to get the car when I "hit" you. You then charge me with assault, even though you have no mark in the area I supposedly hit you. By the way, for those who are wondering, this happened in November 2008, the so called "assault" charge). Then, after the court date when I never met you still and I got a discharge that said NOTHING about staying away from you or anything like that (and I had no violent history in the past, but thanks to you I probably do), I still don't know what you look like but I called your number after finding out your real name the day we went to court from my lawyer, I waited a month before I contacted you. It took me until July to reach you, and when I did, all I asked was why you would press charges of assault when you were offered my medical file EXPLAINING about the seizures and what can be associated with it. As I was told before the day I went to court for the so-called "assault" charge, you REFUSED to look at my medical record and all I wanted to know was why. You then hung up on me and charged me with harassment. I never swore to you or anything, didn't even speak in a rude tone, I just asked a very simple question: Why did you refuse to look at my file which explained about my epilepsy and the things associated with it, instead of pressing charges? You just hung up and presse more charges, even though the "assault" charge was supposedly dealt with(I was given a conditional discharge that only said for me to keep taking my anti-seizure medication, which got PRESCRIBED by a neurologist A FEW WEEKS AFTER you charged me with "assault"). I have been emotionally sick since that day in August 2010, when I was charged with harassment, and attempted suicide many times since, December 2010 was the month I made the most suicide attempts, and even recently, in January 2011, I still make attempts, not because I'm guilty, but because I don't want to face you in a courtroom, even though I don't know what you look like. I just can't handle it anymore. Death seems to be the only answer. I have tried counselling, you name it, I tried it. I just can't deal with it anymore. I even started to drink some alcohol to try to release some of the pain. I can't wait until I die. You're not the only person who makes me suicidal, there are other people as well, but you're one of the main people. I hate you for all the pain you have caused me, and any REAL nurse would look at the file and NOT have done what you done. What did you get out of the assault charge? NOTHING. No money, ANYTHING. So why did you do it? I don't know. And now, with this new charge, I don't know what to think. My life is down the drain in my opinion, because of more ways than one. I want to die, but unfortunately, I keep fucking every attempt up. I hate life, and have since I was 11 years old. Life is nothing but a joke for me, and this is from experience, and whoever said life gets better is full of shit, since I'm 21 years old, and it still hasn't gotten better. I have been bullied since I was really young and the bullying still continues. And I tried ignoiring it, but that doesn't seem to work, even aafter five months or more of trying ot ignore the bullying that goes on that is not including Carol. I try to be optimistic, but I just can't, not with all this shit going on. I can't wait to die. Like I said many times before, when I die, I'll be free from EVERYTHING.
     
  2. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    sorry for the ranting, I just din't know what to do anymore.
     
  3. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    Next time you call someone who presses charges on you. Remember to record the conversation.
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Go to the hospital and get letters from the staff that worked on you..When the judge reads you were having a seizure he will throw it out of court..Get any info you can from when this happened..Your not to blame for being out of control.. In my opinion they let you out to soon if you were still unconcous..Please don't harm yourself any more..Things will work out..
     
  5. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    It's too late, I tried shortly after posting this message on Thursday night and well, you can read my most recent post to see what happened.